This morning in the kitchen. . .

This morning Laszlo came into the kitchen still wearing his striped pyjamas. In he hops to grab something from the counter, then out he goes right back into the living room. If I didn’t know that today was special, this would have been a clear sign that something was up. It’s nearly 9 AM.

“Did your dad just get up?” I ask my husband.

“Did Dad just get up?” he asks his mother, Anna.

“He’s been up since 5 AM running around the house,” she replies, “fixing the garage, taking a shower, shaving and getting tidy. He’s just too excited to change his clothes.”

I made my banana mixed with nut butter breakfast and sat down at the table with Anna and Zsolt. The topic of Zsolt’s cousin’s recent engagement comes up. We all heard about it through Facebook, with pictures off the ‘will you marry me’ spelled out in candles included. It looks like it was a very sweet proposal. I guess they’re now engaged! It’s wonderful, but also bizarre to think she’s at the age of marriage. In my mind, everyone stays much, much younger than me. But apparently I’m getting older, and a new generation is getting married.

Laszlo appears in the doorway, but this time he doesn’t come into the kitchen. I wonder if he noticed that I noticed he’s still in his pyjamas. He begins talking to Zsolt, and I watch him through the yellow glass-panel kitchen door. His hands are moving quickly, but not widely.

“He’s won five dollars in the lottery,” explains Zsolt.

“So that’s a good sign for a good day,” I reply. But of course that’s not why he’s so excited. His pyjama-wearing, running about excited because today is the day he will pick up his new car. This is a car that’s been discussed for many years now, and they’ve finally been able to go forward with the purchase. After two weeks of delays in the car being delivered – today is THE DAY.

AND he’s just won five dollars in the lottery. Never mind that he also spends five dollars a week on lottery tickets. :)

Laszlo keeps talking.

“He needs to go into our bedroom to get some paperwork,” explains Zsolt.

The room is a mess. I’ve literally only started tidying it that very morning, but then abandoned the effort for some breakfast. The mess I’m most concerned about is my pile of underwear where the laundry hamper should be, which also happens to be right by the paperwork.

“Okay,” I say. Because you know, the man needs his paperwork.

Laszlo disappears.

Anna and Zsolt begin to stretch and yawn at the same time. It’s absolutely adorable. They’re slowly raising their arms about their heads and yawning it out. I like how much Zsolt and his parents enjoy each others company. Subconscious imitation is a strong form of flattery and interest. So, this is darn tooting cute, and I reckon a showcase of love.

“Should we give them an engagement card?” I ask Zsolt.

“Should we give them an engagement card?” he asks his mother.

“It’s not needed,” replies Anna. “Engagements are for the close family. When I was a girl, people would gather each side of the family for the engagement – but just the closest family – and there would be a dinner between the two group. Then, at that dinner the guy would give the girl a ring, and they would be officially engaged.”

(She says something to this measure. Zsolt is our translater between Hungarian and English. These “” are approximate, but close enough.)

Zsotl and I definitely didn’t do this. We were engaged on the Isle of Wright in England, and our families were on different sides of the world. But still, it was memorable.

Suddenly our conversation around proposals stops as we hear Zsolt’s father on the phone in the other room.

Oh no.



Anna is ready to jump out of her chair, but Zsolt manages to keep her still.

We listen.


The car is delayed.

And so ends the morning of excitement, romance, and pyjamas. Next time I see Laszlo, as he comes into the kitchen to explain the phone call, he’s wearing his normal clothes. We will have to wait once again, it seems. But hey, the car is coming. And it might be here this afternoon. Here’s hoping the lottery ticket really was a sign of a lucky day. If nothing else, we are all together here as a family in Pecs, Hungary. While I can’t actually bring that up in the middle of the ‘car isn’t here’ disappointment – it is nevertheless true, and it is also a very lovely thing.

The end. For now.


Here’s an update :)

Laszlo Car and Zsolt

10,000 Kisses

Today is July 24th, 2015. That means it’s the 10 year anniversary of my first kiss with Zsolt. It’s also the 10 year anniversary of when I thought to myself, “I could marry this guy.” AND it’s my 10 year anniversary since having that absolutely perfect moment I’d always wanted with another person—it wasn’t just the perfect setting or situation as we lay on the beach side by side, sharing earbuds and listening to Iron & Wine’s Such Great Heights; it was perfect for reasons that can’t be put into worlds. It was my first totally perfect moment. I remember realizing this as I lay there beside him, and then feeling amazed.

The blog has been largely quiet this summer. The reason for this is because I’m here with him, and we’re by the Balaton shore, and everything feels so much in the present moment. Being with my husband, especially in a place like this where we are relaxed, and easy, and free, is simply put, curative for the soul.

I know what it is to feel fully alive and totally happy. I know what it is to be totally well and healed in the most essential of ways. It is because of this tall, hansome Hungarian I kissed ten years ago today. It is because I am totally with him and am totally for him, as he is with and for me.

So today I am healthy, and happy, and free. It’s all longed for, and I am grateful.

Happy anniversary, Zsolt.

Love always


Beach at Nice 2015

P.S. 10,000 kisses? Well, at three kisses a day for 10 years, we’re about there. But in fact, we suspect it’s really about 20,000. ;)

Economy of Fear

Hello you lovelies,

My good friend and podcasting partner Kevin is doing a pretty big thing. I mean, he’s been doing a lot of big things this summer, including adding a new tiny daughter to family of ladies, and now he gets to add ‘squeal book‘ to that list. Kevin and I met over a year ago, when we got together to discuss writing. I’d just finished his book The Page Turners, and he had just finished reading Claire Never Ending. I’ll never forget how he showed up at the coffee shop with a list of questions to ask and a book to be signed. I showed up with  . . . ahh, well. . . nothing, actually, except nerves and a mindset to make a new friend. But that momnet is a good snapshot of Kevin, if you don’t already know him. He pours himself into his projects. He exceeds expectations.

Anyhow, right now at this moment he has a pre-order party happening for the follow up novel to the Page Turners, called Economy of Fear. But Kevin being Kevin didn’t stop with, ‘”hey I have a new book, guys,” He’s gone and created this bundle – because he has this funny deep love for bundles. Normally I’m all anti-bundle. Even in the grocery store when Zsolt wants to buy 2 cans of tuna for the price of one, I full on reject the idea because hey, we don’t need two cans of tuna! (Except that we do, in reality) however, I actually think Kevin has knocked this one out of the park. Again, exceeding expectations.

But because you guys probably haven’t read Kevin’s work – I’ll give you the skinny on it now. To celebrate the sequel in the series, he is giving away an entire audio book of the Page Turners:Blood (the first book), plus he’s giving away audio commentary, a prequel chapter and a 40 minute video where I get to interview him about writing! It’s like the coffee shop all over again, except I’M IN CONTROL!

Ha. Ah. That got awkward.

Kevin books are, I think, a cross of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with the kids from Freaks and Geeks. It’s dark, deep and dives into the world of small towns, friends, depression and how books can both save and change you.

If you want a good and gory read, check it it :) Pre-ordering stars now!