Category Archives: Life

The tragedy and the miracle

Posted in Bumpboobs, Life, Travel, Uncategorized by

Two weeks ago around this time Zsolt and I were in New York visiting the September 11th memorial site. It’s an open-space with construction happening all around and tourists & New Yorkers dispersed between the two fountains where the towers once stood. It’s surreal in a way; I remember my first year of university and getting ready to go to class when I heard something on the radio about a plane crashing into a building in New York City. It didn’t sound right, it had to be a bad joke. I left the house. Rode the bus. Went to class. Sat in class. Found out it was real. Came home. Watched what happened over and over in replay.

Horrible. It’s hard to be reminded that life serves tragedies just as equally as it serves miracles.

The fountains that pour down in the memorial park evoke sadness. There’s such a sense of sadness. With the names of those who died rimming the fountain, the water slides away and tumbles downwards into the black pool, then again it falls into the ground, out of sight. It’s about falling . . . falling and remembering, falling and weeping . . . it’s about the lives that were pulled down into we-don’t-know-where. I’ve never seen a memorial that was so effective in evoking a remembrance of loss. Yet at the same time it’s beautiful to watch the water fall, to feel the spray lifted by the wind, to trace your fingers over the names.

I’m sorry for what happened on September 11th. I’m sorry for the people in Syria who are getting massacred. I’m sorry for people who are torn from their families. I’m sorry for people who get sick before they’re ready. I’m really just sorry for all of these hardships that can make life seem unbearable.

And I’m thankful for the compassion people can show to one another; thankful for their courage to be resilient against a tyrant; thankful for the bonds we form with total strangers; thankful for a smile given on the street; thankful for the moment that is peaceful, even if the world feels like it’s crumbling.

Anyhow. I meant to write about what’s been going on since we’ve gotten back from Europe . . . but then I look at the calendar and it’s September 11th, and this is a day that cannot be forgotten. I’m sure there are many days that cannot be forgotten for many people – both tragedies and miracles alike.

Today I’m thinking about those who know what it is to be helpless, and I’m hoping for as many as possible, they can find some peace despite the chaos.

 

Postcard from Southampton

Posted in Finding Home, Life, Love, Travel by

(This post was meant to be up about a week ago – but instead of adding it as a post, I added it as a page. Here you go – now in the correct blog location! P.S. We are in New York now, having speant a week abroad and I’m about to meet with AnneMarie from Chemobrain! Good times and good travels.)

Excitement Alert!

I should be working –that’s why I’m here at TRAGO (WOOOOHOOO!!!) this morning, but before diving into the job, I thought it’d be great to celebrate with you that I’m here in Southampton, Portswood, Trago Lounge (best cafe ever) enjoying my micro visit immensely.

It’s so funny. Six years ago I can still remember arriving in Southampton (my first time in England) and getting off the bus, looking at the industrial town and thinking, “damn it.” Ugly was the adjective on my mind. And yet here I am for a visit six years later, revelling in every bit of cafe, street sign, familiar litter, charity shop, tea house, that strikes my eye. Particularly this cafe. This is Trago, which if you’ve read earlier parts of my blog, you know is like a slice of paradise on earth.

After my mastectomy, my mother and I came here for a pot of dark tea. After nights out with friends, we came here to wind down the night. After a burst of inspiration, I came here to write it up and share. After making plans, my girlfriends and I would gather here for a long and quenching chat.

Plus, even though it’s not yet 10 am, I’m also enjoying a chocolate gluten-free muffin.

It can be hard to spread oneself all over the place – leave bits of your life here and there. (Saying good-bye to Zsolt’s parents was a little heart-wrenching. Honestly, where’s the teleportation devices? Shouldn’t someone have invited a method for instant long-distance travel already?) But on the bright side . . .it’s good to have places that bring so much joy, even if we can be there – or with the people who live there – all the time. They are maintained in our hearts, and it’s so very good to visit in person.

Tomorrow we take the boat from Southampton to New York. Zsolt is visiting the Titanic museum today – but I took a pass, despite it supposedly being totally awesome, since – you know . . . I don’t need those associations at this moment.

Anyhow. Hello From Southampton!

That was one long postcard note. But who cares :) It’s good to have good moments. I hope you are having one yourself today.

Catherine

P.S. Babies are everyone! We leave this city, and upon returning everyone has given birth! It’s quite amazing.

P.P.S. Going to meet a group of friends today – we had planned for a picnic, but this is England, so it may rain. Nevertheless, I could 100% mark this in my calender as a very fantastic day. I’m totally stoked to see everyone again. :)

A Home Blessing

Posted in Life, Love by

Yesterday afternoon we paid a visit to Zsolt’s grandmother. Her name is Anna, and she lives in a house all alone with a garden so large you could get lost amongst the apple trees, tomato bushes, strawberry plants, raspberries, grapes and climbing vines. Near the front of the garden (close to her many potted cactuses) are a few fruit trees – white peaches, yellow peaches, plums, and pears. My favourite are the peaches; they’re nearly as large as your head. (Well I exaggerate slightly, but they are huge.)

So yesterday afternoon we visited Anna, Zsolt’s grandmother, to eat some peaches and discuss the family tree. (Zsolt is hard at work on his family tree, and occasionally he and his grandmother get together and conspire over names, dates and locations.) The conversation rolled from one thing to another – all in Hungarian, so I kept myself busy eating a giant peach, peeling off the skin with a 70 year old paring knife Anna had saved, and dropping peach slices occasionally onto my dress, onto the floor, and onto the table cloth (probably also ancient – Anna keeps everything, and in perfect condition too. I do not have this talent, as we’ve already established.)

Well the conversation was rolling, and moved to the topic of needlework. Along with their paprika and lace, Hungarians are known for beautiful bright coloured needlework. Anna, back when her eyesight was better, was a master with the needle. She has numerous beautiful pillows that she made herself with the thread and needle. (And in fact, she’d just picked up a pillow case from the market for me which she gave to me while I was eating my giant peach. Woohoo!)

But even more special than the pillow case and flowers, has got to be the home blessing. This is a ‘poem’ or just a special thought that people keep in their home to bless it, and will pass along generation to generation. Zsolt mentioned to his grandmother how one day he’d like to put a home blessing in wherever we end up living – and guess what? Well, I am sure you can guess. She gave him a very special home blessing. This isn’t one she sewed herself, it’s from a generation prior –made  by the second wife of Zsolt’s Great Grandfather’s. Unlike the pillow cases, this doesn’t highlight any flowers. Instead it’s very simple.

White cloth with blue thread. There are two angles stitched into the cloth, and between them they hold a banner. It reads as follows:

Házi áldas  

Hol hit ott Szeretet

Hol szeretet ott béké

Hol Beke ott áldás

Hol áldás ott isten

Hol listen ott szükség nincsen.

Which translates into

Home Blessing

Where belief there is love,

Where love there is peace,

Where peace there is blessing,

Where blessing there is God,

Where God there is nothing else needed.

Is that wonderful, or what? I think so very much, and it’s made even more special to realize this blessing has been in several generations of the Mucsi family homes, now to be in ours. We’ll hang it in a place of honour for sure.

And I was thinking, now that we have a home blessing (good signs of soon finding a HOME), maybe I should write myself a health blessing as well. Something like,

Where Peace there is Health

Where Health there is Gratitude

Where Gratitude there is Love

Where Love there is God

Where God, nothing else is needed.

I’m not always 100% chatty about my feelings on God, but I do believe in the amazingness of life, of the remarkable miracle of our existence, of a big ‘something’ out there that holds us together (it gives me comfort when I remember that earth is not much more than a speck of dust floating through space),

And you know what else? I believe in staying healthy, happy and cancer-free. In fact, it’s my personal motto.

Do you have a home blessing? What about a health blessing? What would you write in yours, if you decided to go ahead and bless yourself with a few simple words?

Anyhow. That’s my story of Anna, the garden, her needle work and this beautiful home blessing.

(By the by, I do think there is love in a home even when health is missing, and even peace too – peace within yourself, peace with the world, with others, etc. I have nothing but the fondest of memories from my own grandmother’s final days – and look back at that time with thanks for being able to share those moments with her in the Tromblant forest. But nevertheless, I’m a great fan of Health and would very much like to stay healthy for a long life-time of peaceful, grateful, love-filled moments.)