And breath out.

I’d like to draw you a picture, but it will have to wait. As I type this I’m trying to avoid staring at the screen, because there is something about computers after chemo that feels repulsive.

This treatment was better. They prescribed me a stronger anti-vomiting drug, and it made a difference. Now, that isn’t to say it was a walk in the park. While this drug stops the vomiting, it definitely doesn’t stop the nausea. However – the more I could keep in, the more my body had to work with. And today, Monday, the nausea is passing.

This treatment was different. Instead of my mom and Zsolt pacing the floor, it was Zsolt and his parents keeping watch. I feel for the carers of people who are ill. It must be a lot on your shoulders – but I have to say, as a person currently on the other side, there are not enough words to express the gratitude. A hard situation becomes so much easier with a few kind words, a few moments of attention – Zsolt has been absolutely incredible this weekend, and having his family near has helped him cope with the heavy load. I’m very grateful.

Now is the boring part of chemotherapy. Boring because there is little to do but recover (though I’ll take boring over sick any day). An exception worth mentioning: I have been playing a Hungarian card game with Anna and Anita, and that was actually quite fun. Too bad one hand of cards leaves me exhausted, but it won’t last forever.

The tricky thing, which I’m doing my best with, is now the hair. Zsolt kindly lent me his black fleece to wear over the weekend, and the back is covered with strands. I haven’t reached the point of shaving, but we’ll see. Once it’s gone, it will be gone – I can already imagine the mixture of relief and regret. But I think there is no harm in waiting a little longer.

Ok, summarize. I am doing okay. The weekend wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t a nightmare either. The next two weeks are mine and not cancer’s; I’ll be doing my best to enjoy them thoroughly. Also, as an aside, we are on the brink of buying a car. This will be our very first car – it’s a purchase to remember. Zsolt is trying to strike a deal as I type. Good thoughts for my bargaining man!

3 thoughts on “And breath out.

  1. Hi Catherine, I’m sooo glad to hear that this round was somewhat easier 🙂

    I really hope that the car purchase went through and that you and Zsolt are now the PROUD owners of a brand “new” car.

    LOTS of positive vibes going your way.


  2. Hey Katherine,

    You may not remember me but I’ve known you since you were just a little girl. Your Dad used to bring you to me for hair cuts many years ago and I was also a chiropractic client, and I’m still going after all of those years. I’ve know your family for about 25 years now. You have grown up to be a brave young woman and it’s so nice to see you writing about your experience. I know someone else who is experiencing exactly the same thing so I have sent her the link to your blog….thank you for sharing because she doesn’t know anyone who has been through this. As for the hair thing….after many years in the business, it’s a pain anyway. The good news is that you don’t have to style it, comb and wash it, less work for you now when you need all of your strenght. (there is a silver lining in every cloud, you just have to look for it). I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and sending your healing energy to keep a focus on your healing, strength and positive thinking. I’ll keep reading.


    • Hi Brenda – I most certainly remember you. 🙂 Thanks for writing, and thanks for recommending my blog. I had started writing this for anyone going through similar issues, so am glad to hear you’ve passed it along. It’s just an idea, but you may want to suggest that your friend read only along-side her own experiences. For instance, I read about people’s chemo treatment long before reaching that point and it was overwhelming. A good idea is to start at the beginning (see months on right side or calendar at the bottom of this page) and slowly work along. This stuff is easier in small doses.

      Thanks again for writing!

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