Ok – packing has STILL not started, and it’s Monday. Movers are due Thursday, so yeah, time’s getting pinched. It’s just hard to get focused. Between a great party last Saturday, selling the car and furniture, planning a road trip across Europe, dressing for that photoshoot, and visiting the theatre in London. . . those boxes arn’t likely to fill anytime soon.
Even writing this post is munching on time. But what the heck, I’ll skip the picture scribbling today.
Right. Last Thursday I was given the crappy news. Fine. Since then I’ve been struck by waves of sadness – but otherwise I’m just moving forward. Things are so busy I don’t even have time to google ‘egg donation’ and that’s probably for the best at this moment.
Zsolt said that while an AMH measures the level of hormones produced by eggs (thus measuring the amount of eggs –ish) it doesn’t measure the quality. So that could be either good or bad, though honestly at the moment I cannot be asked to investigate further. And my acupuncturist said she knew a lady who had similar AMH results, and then several years after the test was pregnant.
Anyhow – this is clearly a situation of “he said this” and “she said that” and “I once heard about a women who”. . . a lot of speculation and encouragement to hope.
But honestly, at this moment (and I’m sure this will change) I’m just tired. I feel tired. Not chemo-tired, just emotionally exhausted and ready for a break.
Cue the summer. I keep telling people about lake Balaton and the spas of Hungary. I keep dreaming of floating through hot water and tanning in the sun. And then there’s this new world over in Canada that I’m trying to imagine – but it’s all water colours – I’ve got a sense, but no shape of what will unfold. This is one of those ‘trust the gut’ situations where everything hopefully works out.
Anyhow. Just checking in to say hello. At this very moment the Zsoltster is going through our filing cabinet trying to empty contents for shipping/binning. Considering he stops at every-single-item for a lovely trip down memory lane, I think it’s going to take a while.
Time to stop typing and help un-file that cabinet.