So yesterday I stepped out of the shower and my hair was slicked back (I like to imagine I’m that girl in the waterfall and lush greenery and my hair is down to my butt) and catch a glimpse of my face in the steamy mirror.
I just about gagged.
My hairline has a startling V-shaped quality. It’s not actually noticeable when dry and styled (though I did think to myself the other day that there were some rather empty patches). But when wet and slicked back – it’s startling. Geez Louise!! What, am I going bald?
“You’re not going bald.” My mom tells me, “but your hair is thin there.”
Thinning in my opinion, because I think it wasn’t always like this.
“Your horomoes are going a little crazy,” she continues, “and it’s normal for women’s hair to thin when that happens.”
As part of my post-treatment life I’m taking a drug called Tamoxifen. It’s blocks estrogen receptors, so all my lady hormones are in a mess – which may explain why my hair is fading on the edges like a man’s. Augh! But at least (and I’m very thankful) I don’t have any other side effects of Tamoxifen, cause it can be way worse than just a little hair loss.
Anyhow, you can’t notice when it’s dry. And I’m still growing it out, so maybe those places will eventually decide to stop messing about and grow in too. Who knows? All I think is that in 2 to 5 years, I’ll be off this Tamoxifen and remembering what it’s like to be estrogen receptive (and totally cancer free).
For now I need to place fighting cancer above thick hair. But nevertheless it was a surprise.
Anyhow – despite my slow-to-grow hair great things are happening. Tonight I’m going to a LookGoodFeelBetter, this weekend is the Mirror Ball, and I’ve also got a pass to the Breast Quest Film Festival.
Awesome, or awesome? Totally awesome.