Going to Bed

10:00 PM.

C: Zsolt, when are you coming to bed?

Z: It’s only 10:00 PM!

10:30 PM

C: Zsolt when are you coming to bed?

Z: Soon.

C: Come soon, I’m sleepy.

11:00 PM.

C: Night.

Z: Night.

*click goes the light*

11:10 PM

C: I’m having a hot flash.

Z: …

11:15 PM

C: Zsolt?

Z: Yes.

C: Is everything okay?

Z: Everything is okay.

C: What about [enter nearest problem on my mind]?

Z: That is okay too. We’re both okay.

C: Alright.

11:20 PM.

C: What do you think about ice cream? I haven’t had ice cream in a long time. It’s been years already – I think about 2 years, except that one time with that xylitol stuff. Which was good, but I still felt guilty eating it – it was too sweet. I think I miss Balaton. Sometimes when I think of it, I picture out our on that surf board in the morning, looking at the water.

Z: That was nice.

C: Yep.

Z: The fish were big.

11:30 PM

C: Zsolt?

Z: Hmm?

C: Wouldn’t it be awesome if the chemo and treatment knock the cancer back into remission?

Z: Yes.

C: Mission remission.

Z: Mission remission.

11:40 PM

C: Ow!

Z: What is it?!

C: Back spasm. I’m getting an ice pack.

*sound of shuffling bare feet on a too-cold floor. Flash of light from the freezer. Footsteps return.

C: Damn.

Z: What?

C: I forgot the tea towel.

*again, sound of shuffling footsteps.

11:50 PM

Catherine kicks at her blankets, then flips to the other end of the bed. She then does a half-asleep yoga-like stretching pose.

Z: You okay?

C: I’m not going to sleep tonight.

Z: You say that every night, and then you sleep.

C: True.

12:00 AM.

C: Zsolt?

Z: Yeah?

C: Nothing.

Z: Are you sure?

C: I guess so. I just can’t stop worrying.

Z: Tell me what you’re worrying about.

Catherine proceeds to list everything she is worrying about. Zsolt then talks her through them one by one.



Z: Babe?

C: Yes?

Z: Good night.

C: Good night.

Z: I love you.

C: I love you too.


And how can you not love a man who never, ever complains – no matter how many times you wake him up?

7 thoughts on “Going to Bed

  1. Pingback: Weekly Round Up: On Death And Dying | Journeying Beyond Breast Cancer

  2. Zsolt sounds like a great guy, helping you to sleep on sleepless nights. My sleep aid is my kitty, Zeus. He snuggles next to my pillow and purrs in my ear. I focus only on the meditative sound of his purring, and he lulls me to sleep.
    ^ ^
    > ~~ <

  3. Oh the wonderful world of sleepless nights from cancer stress. I hope the best for you, I have been super stressed going back into drip chemo-land. There have been tears, stress and many sleepless nights. I hope that your results from the treatment bring you exactly the opposite. Results, rest and some happiness. ❤ Mission remission!

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