10:00 PM.
C: Zsolt, when are you coming to bed?
Z: It’s only 10:00 PM!
10:30 PM
C: Zsolt when are you coming to bed?
Z: Soon.
C: Come soon, I’m sleepy.
11:00 PM.
C: Night.
Z: Night.
*click goes the light*
11:10 PM
C: I’m having a hot flash.
Z: …
11:15 PM
C: Zsolt?
Z: Yes.
C: Is everything okay?
Z: Everything is okay.
C: What about [enter nearest problem on my mind]?
Z: That is okay too. We’re both okay.
C: Alright.
11:20 PM.
C: What do you think about ice cream? I haven’t had ice cream in a long time. It’s been years already – I think about 2 years, except that one time with that xylitol stuff. Which was good, but I still felt guilty eating it – it was too sweet. I think I miss Balaton. Sometimes when I think of it, I picture out our on that surf board in the morning, looking at the water.
Z: That was nice.
C: Yep.
Z: The fish were big.
11:30 PM
C: Zsolt?
Z: Hmm?
C: Wouldn’t it be awesome if the chemo and treatment knock the cancer back into remission?
Z: Yes.
C: Mission remission.
Z: Mission remission.
11:40 PM
C: Ow!
Z: What is it?!
C: Back spasm. I’m getting an ice pack.
*sound of shuffling bare feet on a too-cold floor. Flash of light from the freezer. Footsteps return.
C: Damn.
Z: What?
C: I forgot the tea towel.
*again, sound of shuffling footsteps.
11:50 PM
Catherine kicks at her blankets, then flips to the other end of the bed. She then does a half-asleep yoga-like stretching pose.
Z: You okay?
C: I’m not going to sleep tonight.
Z: You say that every night, and then you sleep.
C: True.
12:00 AM.
C: Zsolt?
Z: Yeah?
C: Nothing.
Z: Are you sure?
C: I guess so. I just can’t stop worrying.
Z: Tell me what you’re worrying about.
Catherine proceeds to list everything she is worrying about. Zsolt then talks her through them one by one.
12:10
Z: Babe?
C: Yes?
Z: Good night.
C: Good night.
Z: I love you.
C: I love you too.
And how can you not love a man who never, ever complains – no matter how many times you wake him up?
Sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive loving man….
No doubt in my mind. You have a wonderful person in your life.
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Zsolt sounds like a great guy, helping you to sleep on sleepless nights. My sleep aid is my kitty, Zeus. He snuggles next to my pillow and purrs in my ear. I focus only on the meditative sound of his purring, and he lulls me to sleep.
^ ^
> ~~ <
Aww.
This story makes me smile and cry.
I’m lucky you have him with you. I’m sorry that you guys are walking this path though. xox
Oh the wonderful world of sleepless nights from cancer stress. I hope the best for you, I have been super stressed going back into drip chemo-land. There have been tears, stress and many sleepless nights. I hope that your results from the treatment bring you exactly the opposite. Results, rest and some happiness. ❤ Mission remission!
Beautifully written Catherine. You have a wonderful man there : ) and you’re pretty special too ; )