Faces and a Cause: Sept. 14th in Ottawa, 7.30 – 10.00pm

You know what I love to do? Meet over a cup of tea. Meet friends, family, clients, colleagues . . . meet and drink a big steaming cup of tea. So can you guess what I just did? šŸ™‚Ā 

This morning at the local Starbucks here in the west end of Ottawa, I was lucky enough to meet, chat and drink tea (though I think she had a latte; for sure caramel was involved) with photographer Lou Truss. Lou is a professional photographer who, along with travelling the world and raising a family, has captured a wide range of issues and conversations through her lens. She snaps documentary pics, weddings, campaigns, and causes.

Photo by Lou Truss, featuring Katie Evans

Anyhow, a little while ago there was some buzz in the ā€˜young women who’ve had breast cancer and live in Ottawa’ community, (You might think that sounds ridiculous, but we’re here and there are far too many of us.) where Katie of Lovely Katie Lumps was telling us about this photography project that was going to raise awareness about breast cancer in young women. Ā And it got me wondering, ā€˜who is this woman who wants to show our story and raise awareness – and why should we pay attention to her exhibit amongst the plethora of cancer-awareness raising activities?’ Which sounds harsh, but I think is also fair to ask.

I wasn’t sceptical about her intentions being genuine, but part of me was nevertheless uncertain in general. I put off joining the project – getting distracted by job stuff and travel stuff and other work stuff. Eventually the exhibit slipped my mind, until about a month ago when the first photographs were released on Facebook and Twitter.

TRUE: I know several of the ladies in these pictures. So yeah, I’m a little biased in my approval. But alsoĀ  TRUE is that in seeing the photographs released to the public to build attention for the exhibit, I was fixated by their beauty, by their approach, by how these women (my peers in the Y.W.W.H.B.C.A.L.I.O community*) were choosing to represent their stories of dealing with cancer.

Lou doesn’t bother writing long captions and explanations. The photographs – stark in their black and whites – tell their own stories. These women whom I’ve known, talked to, found support from, suddenly seemed different. Even within the cancer community we so often wear our ā€˜brave’ faces for one another, you can forget that each person’s experience is unique. . . and when we’re asked to represent those stories, those unique experiences manifest very differently depending on the person.

Therefore, impressed by the sneak peek, I clicked the Facebook icon that said ā€œattendingā€ to the event.

And then I received an email from Lou – inviting me to meet for tea (What? Did she know my weakness for coffee houses?) and to model for this exhibit. So today, just a couple hours ago, we met and chatted for a while, swapping stories about cancer, about England, about health care, about immigration, etc.

Lou lost her father to cancer. It was very, very quick. She’s had friends diagnosed with cancerĀ  too– she has friends right now (yeah, that’s plural) who are going through chemotherapy. Cancer, once arriving on the scene, has reappeared far too frequently in her life. ā€œWe’re fragile,ā€ she said to me at some point half-way through our drinks. But of course, when we’re younger we don’t realize that do we? Many young women don’t check their breasts routinely – most people don’t expect to get sick.

And nor should they. I’m not suggesting we live in fear. But to have an awareness that translates into a practical ā€˜good health’ routine, a proactive approach toward your body – that can save your life. It sure as heck saved mine.

So yes, raising awareness is a very good thing. And yes, not draping the stories in ribbons or colours or copywriting is a very good choice. Let each person tell their own journey – and Lou will capture their fragility and their strength through her camera.

Actually, it sounds pretty great; with the best thing being how genuinely she wants to make a difference. Ā This Saturday my own story gets captured by Lou’s camera, and then there’s the exhibit on September 14th right here in Ottawa. If you’re in the area, please come by and check it out – it’s well worth seeing and meeting the women behind the images. It’ll be a Friday night with impact.

See you there!

Catherine

Event Details:

Friday, September 14th, 2012 from 7:30-10pm at Ottawa Studio Works which is 160 Preston St. – between Gladstone and Somerset. Funds will be raised for ā€œYoung Adult Cancer Canada.ā€ It’s FREE to get in, though donations to YACC are happily accepted. Also!! The Photographs will be for sale in raising funds.

*P.S. I’m just joking. We do NOT call ourselves by that name, or any name at all.

An absentminded mess

We are on the train now, headed toward Pecs and leaving Balaton. For the past four days Zsolt and I have been enjoying a little lakeside R&R. Before that it was sweating in Budapest and late-night dance parties. I’ll tell you what. If you want to take a break from the cancer world because sometimes it becomes too overwhelming, there’s little better than going out to dance. One – you are in a state to not feel embarrassed since you know life is precious, and Two- it’s just a freaking fabulous workout.

So that was Budapest. Hot-hot days and comfortable nights in outdoor clubs. And work, of course, which happily follows me wherever there’s an internet connection.

But following this time away in Budapest, I have three little confessions to make . . . actually four – the last being less of a confession and more of a statement.

Number one: I burned the crap out of Zsolt’s mother’s pot here in Balaton. For the past couple weeks I have been in the mood to make tomatoe sauce with meatballs, particularly following this TED talk I watched about foods that kill cancer and – once again – was reminded that tomatoes warmed up are really great for an anti-cancer diet. Therefore I bought some liquid tomato and a can of chopped tomato while in Budapest and brought them down to Balaton. (No one in Budapest seemed to really want my tomato sauce and meatballs.Ā  That’s because it’s just not part of a traditional Hungarian diet. However, Zsolt and I had some ā€˜alone time’ scheduled for the Balaton part of our travelling, so I deferred the cooking of the sauce until we arrived in Fonyod Ligit, which is a little village along the Balaton coast. And thank goodness I did.) Anyhow, I had the sauce cooking for a nice long time, made the meatballs in the frying pan then later transferred those into the sauce, and cooked everything together with delicious results.

So we’re eating this amazing sauce & meatball meal – and we’re (Zsolt and I) are like, ā€œThis is awesome. What’s that flavour? I don’t know what that flavour is? What did you put in it? I only put onions and basil and the meatballs. Maybe it’s from the meatballs? I did sear them pretty good, maybe it’s from the meatballs?ā€

Wrong. That awesome flavour was from the blackened bottom of that sauce pot. It took me two days to discover the burn and by then it was so set into the freaking pot that I’ve been trying to scrub it clean for the past day and a night. Sugar scrubbed into the dark ring has helped (using a newspaper) but not totally cleared away the mess. We had to catch this train, so I’ve stashed the pot in a far corner beneath the sink hoping that when his mother does discover the burnt patch remaining – because she 100% will discover it, and then she will ask: ā€˜Why did Catherine burn the pot?’ as though I had plotted to do this (and with the real answer being that I burn essentially every pot that I encounter while cooking)Ā  . . . hopefully, by this time this happens, I’ll be well out of the country.

Not that she would get angry, but being asked ā€˜why’ I did something that I really couldn’t help is a pet-peeve of mine, and tends to send me into a sarcastic fit of annoyanceĀ  – replying with things like, ā€œI burnt the pot because it was looking at me funny.ā€ Or ā€œI burnt the pot to add to the flavourā€ (apparently true in this case ) Or ā€œI burnt the damn pot because I purposely wanted to damage it.ā€

Truth is, I’m just absent minded. Which brings me to the second confession.

Number Two – I lost my glasses! Bah. Gone! Poof. Where are they? If I knew that, they wouldn’t be lost. But one thing is for sure, they aren’t in my luggage and that’s all I’m taking away from Balaton right now as we head toward Pecs. Glasses equal gone. We’re about to visit all these awesome places, and I’m stuck with my prescription shades. But at least I have those – even if it means walking around the house, mall, and movie theatre like a hung-over starlet with these dramatic black sunglasses.

Number Three – I broke my father-in-law’s air mattress! Again, by the time he discovers this I am hoping to be out of the country.

Some people report chemo brain after having gone through chemotherapy – it’s a very real problem that seems to creep up and then simply not go away; your ability to remember things is greatly affected. If you want to learn more about chemo brain you should check out AnneMarie’s blog – aptly titled, ā€œchemobrainā€ and just google search the term in general. I think this is one of the side effects they don’t necessarily warn you about (in addition to the one about chemo possibly killing your sex life) before you sign that waver and agree to the treatment course.

However, in my case, I can only blame it on genetics. Absentmindedness has been my middle name (a really long middle name) since I can remember.

So if you ever want to ask me why I dropped that tissue and didn’t pick it up, or why I left the light on, or why the front door is open a tiny bit . . . don’t bother, because I won’t tell you the real answer. Instead I’ll say aliens forced me to discard the tissue as an experiment in entropy, or the light turned itself on and we may have a poltergeist problem, or the wind knocked at the door but no one answered and so it let itself in.

Number Four – I really did have a lovely time in Balaton. The allergies weren’t horrible. The water was warm. I napped with my husband. We watched the Olympics. I did a little work. And the sunsets were beautiful. These little worries and expense-causing mistakes seem to follow me around everywhere . . . but nevertheless, I was quite absentmindedly happy to be on a mini-vacation, and forget, just for a little while, about the bigger worries of life.

P.S. I’m sipping on a pear-flavoured beer while riding this Hungarian train. Take that Canada! I’m drinking in public! Wooohooo! Life is just so crazy sometimes. Ā šŸ™‚

I am not Fearless.

So blogging as Bumpyboobs, and being involved in Facing Cancer Together, and meeting the incredible women online, interacting through twitter and facebook and meeting ladies in person – it’s all great. It’s support, and like I’ve said before, I love the online world of cancer support because we can choose our interactions, the depth of our involvement, and even the people with whom we relate. There’s choice. But even that doesn’t protect you from the reality of cancer – that slap-in-the-face reality that people do die.

I follow a lot of blogs. You might not notice me, and my name isn’t always listed under ā€˜Bumpyboobs’, but nevertheless, I’m often there reading. So many touching journeys are online (I reckon each and every person has a story that is touching, even if they don’t put it on the internet) and it is my privilege to read and blog alongside these great writers.

Okay, so please get that I feel my work and my interactions in the BC and cancer community is a privilege. It’s important to me in a very deep way.

But oh my goodness, it can be hard at times. Seems to me that people pass on too early, and final posts appear too often in my RSS reader. I don’t want to turn away from others as they thank the world for the support. It’s just hard to know that they’ve reached their last stop. Harder for them, of course, and just so aching for the family and friends left behind.

There’s this great tag online about #fearlessfriends. Those are friends who stick by a person even after someone is diagnosed stage four or worse, beyond treatment. It takes a lot of character and strength to be a fearless friend. I’d like to give kudos to those who do it so very well. You ladies just keep giving, and it amazes me completely how generous you are with your emotions and support.

It’s the fearless friends, alongside these incredible people who will blog their story to the very end, who give me strength to stay with them and not shrink away. But it’s hard. It’s nevertheless hard. And there are moments – just some moments, when I open facebook or twitter or the RSS reader and wilt as I read the headlines, as I have done this week for reasons many of you know.

Friendship is a wonderful and empowering thing. Support lets us know we’re not alone. Conversation brings up important topics that need consideration. And daily triumphs shared are energy boosters for us all. It is a wonderful thing to work within the cancer community. But this is cancer we are talking about . . . so in today’s post I just wanted to acknowledge that sometimes this is hard. It might be selfish to write – particularly with people passing and anniversaries being marked, but this blog has always been about getting the emotions ā€˜out’ so that I can move forward. It’s a selfish blog, really, in this aspect.

So there is it. Out. Sometimes, I find it hard to be supportive. Sometimes, I’d rather just turn off my computer. Sometimes, I just need a little time away from cancer . . .

Then the next day I can come back and keep sharing, talking, laughing, reading and supporting. I am not fearless, and that is the truth, but nevertheless, I am doing my best. Probably we’re all just doing our best.

Ā