Category Archives: Life

A 2015 Time Capsule Post: Ten years later. . .

Posted in Bumpboobs, Life, Writing by

If you are reading this blog post, then it is ten years into the future. The date this post was written is July 6th, 2015. The date you should be reading it is July 6th 2025 . . . unless some crazy thing with ‘sci-fi Hollywood movie summer blockbuster’ proportions has happened, and the calendar system has required a total makeover. In which case, would this post still post? It must have! You are reading it.

This is my ten-year time capsule blog post. I am currently in the middle off writing an article for a site called BlogHer, and that article is about using your blog as a time capsule. As the first words of that article began to roll, I realized that actually, it might be a good idea to try the idea before advising others how to do it.

Hence, Ten Years Later: A Time Capsule Post

Dear future, you have intimidated me for a long, long time. Ever since my diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer, I have always wondered how you and I fit together. They say that the average life expectancy of a young women with mets may be more than ~2 years, considering statics and studies take forever to be done and therefore the numbers are always behind the times. But they also say that the cure for breast cancer is very, very far away. Much like ten years from 2015 feels very far away.

But here is what I hope for you, and here is also a snap shot of life in 2015.

Firstly my predictions about the future.

Dr Zsolt Samson, the love of my life, has aged very well. He has lightly salt and pepper hair, and beautiful crinkles around his beautiful eyes. When he smiles, he still projects his gentle sweetness and caring heart, and he still makes the ladies swoon. He is living a happy life, and one that is full of love. We are always together in our hearts. And at 11:11 we stop and make our wishes. Through the miracle of damn determination, we are in Balaton this summer and celebrating our 20th anniversary together. He has a new phone, and probably some other cool gadget, and he’s watching as the helicopter circles the lake. He as finally found time to do his hobbies like ancestry tracing, and he’s grown as a professional too, feeling more confident in his ability to communicate, and to solve any challenge he faces – because you are eloquent and capable, Babers, and I’m so proud of you for it. I love you with all of my being.

I have gotten a bit of sunscreen in my eyes from writing that paragraph. It’s hard to write a paragraph like that without a few tears. Here are a few more word-wide applicable predictions.

More Predictions

#1: Well, I think in 2015 people will either have given up the bikini top entirely, or the sun has become so strong we’re back to bathing fully clothed. Personally, I hope you are all mostly naked and on the beach as you are reading this. I’m here in 2015 on the beach in Balaton, Fonyodliget and it’s a gorgeous day with blue sky. The temperature is projected to be 34 degrees Celsius today. DAMN that is hot.

#2: In 2025, Europe will have finally decided to take the plunge and really fuse up as an entity – much in the way that Canada has provinces, European countries will give up hundreds upon hundreds of years as sseparately stubborn (and amazing) entities and realized they are stronger as a team – and with that, they need to give up some power to the bigger EU picture. And everyone is happier for it. HA! Gotcha! I have no idea what will happen to the European Union. Today is the day after the Greeks voted NO in their referendum and the UK will soon be holding their own referenedum in regards to their relationship to the EU. It’s up in the air, and I can only hope the union somehow comes out stronger for the turbulence, but these are certainly hard times for it, I’m afraid. In any case, for all of its challenges, it has brought a continent together and that is a good thing.

#3 Canada has repealed/amended considerably bill C-51 and has recognized that by limiting our freedoms and privacy, we limit ourselves as a country, and therefore, we lose to those who want to terrorize us. I hope the hill at Parliement is always open for folks to play Frisbee upon, and our personal information has some degree of protections. And maybe we actually have affordable internet by now?

#4 I hope, but am in no position to predict, that terror is no long a word we hear so often.

#5 Google will surpass Apple in all things cool.

#6 There will be a movement that is anti-social connectivity. Much like this beach here in Balaton, folks will remember it’s nice to just chillax without telling everyone about it, or having cookies tracking your every decision. Retro Nokia mobile phones will become cool again, and charity shops will make a bundle selling the old, discontinued, impossible-to-destruct models.

#7 The right to die will actually become a right and a gentle, assisted passage onwards. Also, standard of care will encompass an ideology that includes the humanity of an individual, and not just the mechanics of a patient.

#8 The US will have finally figured out that universal health care makes people live happier and healthier, without any side effects of communism.

#9 breast cancer will have a vaccine. Virus-based treatments will have made great headway. Options that don’t destroy you will be available for management.

Now it is time for some 2015 observations. After this I’ll write some messages, and then this time capsule post will be over!

Observations from 2015:

Everyone has a phone. Social gatherings involve getting together and pulling out your phones. People message eachother when they are ten feet away.

Pant waistlines are going upwards. I hope this eventually stops. Pant legs seem to be moving from skinny back to wide, I hope this continues. Hair seems to be getting big again. Girls wear it really, really long, and guys style it UP. TOMS shoes are the best.

Lake Balaton is still the most relaxing place in the world, and is in itself a time capsule of Hungary.

Bicycles seem to be making a comeback as the main mode of transportation, even in Canada where it’s damn cold.

Jim Watson is the Mayor of Ottawa. I expect by 2025 he’ll either still be mayor, or he’ll be Prime Minister.

The US has just recently – like within the past couple weeks, okayed marriage for everyone despite sexual orientation. If I had written this post about 10 years ago, I’d say the same for Canada, cause we were well ahead of the game on that. High-five, Canada!

I’m a podcast host on Write Along Radio with Kevin T Johns. It’s fun! I’m also an author of a wonderful book you should all go and read called Claire Never Ending. It’s written straight from my soul, and is one of my proudest moments of creation.

My parents work too hard, but seem happy. My older brother and his partner seem wonderful together. She’s building a brand of Kombucha called Buchi Pop. My little brother seems to be in a place that can best be described as limbo, but with benefits. I wish you all so much love and joy in your life.

A few messages to those who I love in 2025:

I STILL LOVE YOU

You know who you are. Chances are I love you in 2015 too. I hope you are happy, and living for today, and not waiting another ten years to chase after whatever it is you want most. I hope you are comfortable in your daily life, and willing to become uncomfortable as you stretch and grow. To my family, may you still play games together. To my friends, may you still be living on your own terms. Catherine and Justin, I hope that garden is thriving. Ulrike, James, Kate, Carole and Kevin, keep on writing. Mom and Dad, Thank you for everything. JP and Dan, I hope you are friends. Anna, Laszlo, Anita and Berci, I send you love.

And Zsolt, you are the best thing ever, as you know. You have made every day in 2015 so far a wonderful one. Yesterday on my birthday, we stayed by the lake the entire time together. We put a firecracker in a pile of pancakes. We played Katan and – to be honest- I could have won wayyyy early, but let you take it! You are the one who inspired me to be gentle and generous in my playing, because your nature is to think and care for others. You have the gift of love inside of you, along with your smarts, and it’s truly your super power. I love you so much my Zsolt. It is a feeling that never diminishes, and only grows stronger as each moment passes. I’d like to send you a wave of that love from here in 2015 all the way to you in 2025. With a big kiss added on: MMMMMMUH!

And that is my message from 2015. I know it wasn’t thrilling, and I definitely know it was a bit too long. But there you go.

Whatever the future holds, I am happy for this moment here on the beach by Lake Balaton, on July 6th, 2015. Thank you world for letting me know you.

Catherine

 

 

 

 

 

 

Truth of it

Posted in advanced cancer, After treatment, Blogging and Other Fun, Bumpboobs, Life, Life despite cancer, Writing by

Well today I slept till noon. In the middle of the night I allowed myself a tylenol, which helps alleviate the pain that I can sometimes feel in my chest and back and ribs. I know my doctors would say to take morpheme…but I know pain, and this is just a shadow pain…muted, mostly, and tylenol can do the trick.

So I sleep in and savor it like a warm bath. But there is life out there! In my mind I have made myself low sugar peanut butter cookies, and I am have made myself goulash and more kaposta. And in my mind I have finished my manuscript and posted it on this website for access.

in my mind I’m already wearing the incontinence diapers we bought for the cottage, which means I can finally chill out about mistakes.

In my mind I have found the energy to go buy that acrylic painting paper I need so not every painting is on thick canvas.

And in my mind, I can basically tap dance – and walk up the stairs on my own.

But the only parts of that that are true rests with the incontinence and the weakness when it comes to the stairs. And then there is my husband who I worry about all the time. Worry about his work, but also his emotional state of being, and how it is such a struggle to do this for us both…..though downstairs in bed or upstairs in zero energy but pushing any how land he is always fun to be with.

No energy for proofing. i am sure it is getting worse and worse. Oh well, at least words hit the page.

Done

PS I am getting new glasses and that is exciting.

Thank you!

Posted in advanced cancer, Bumpboobs, Life, Life despite cancer, Novels and Stories, Writing by

Hi everyone,

Thank you for the b-day wishes. It was lovely. Perfect basically.

Okay, I really don’t know what to say except not much at all. I have been making an effort these days. An effort to stay out of bed. It’s a lot easier for me to do this in the afternoon. I sleep in till about 10:30 lately, and then mentally put my shoes on very slowly, and then I’m up – visiting with folks (who come over), writing, painting… OH

I just painted THE largest canvas ever. Once it is on the wall Maybe a picture will be possible. It took the stuffing out of me to paint. The stuffing. It may be the last thing I paint for sometime simply because I’m knackered.

Things to look forward to:

That cottage part two. We don’t own in my family, we rent. It is easier. Less responsibility. But we have rented the same place, so it feels homey. I sleep not so well, but the view of the water is lovely. Last time we were there I borrowed a game from my best friend. It is called “marrying MR Darcey”  and is a role playing game. Good fun! Each year a couple at the cottage will take an evening meal to make. It is soooo good. I must be quite hungry now because I’m in the mood for that food.

My 12th year anniversary with Zsolt. 🙂

A warm sunny day. While BC is suffocating with flame and smoke, Ottawa has gotten so much rain. Every day it rains. It is a gloomy thing and I keep thinking there may be sunshine. I am thinking of the folks out west and the terror of what is happening. We are lucky over here in Ottawa – if only we could blow our storms your way.

Another visit from my bestie. She has made time for me in a big way. It has been very meaningful. her birthday gift was a summary of happy emails we’ve exchanged over the years. Crazy hilarious and sweet.

My writing group 🙂

Everyone I’ve seen lately and who has allowed me to spill my guts to them, and endured me saying some very direct things on how I have loved them in my life.

The steroids I’m on have had a useful impact. Sure, my skin is tissue, my nails want to fall off, I have mood swings and there are dots spreading…none of it matters compared to the fact that the drugs are keeping me upright. Sometimes it feels like upright in a very puppeted fashion – but I’m pushing to stay and do what I can do.

Apparently my right eye as an astigmatism (or whatever) that has slightly changed it shaped. This means new glasses – an outdoor sort of thing. Also my phone is experiencing spasms and is to be replaced as soon as I get the energy to do so.

This isn’t a health update but rather one in the list of things to look forward to. I finished the first draft of my book!! It is called Space Opera in Space. The wizard of Oz meets zany cross universe adventurers who work the night shift at a Wurgers fast food restaurant. YeAAAAAAHHHH! It’s fun and very light and rather quick. Once I clean this up slightly, and format, I will be sticking the draft (keep in mind that word) on Bumpyboobs for anyone to download and print for themselves.

 

And that is all I have to say about allllll of that.

 

P.S. Totally knackered having written this!