Well today I slept till noon. In the middle of the night I allowed myself a tylenol, which helps alleviate the pain that I can sometimes feel in my chest and back and ribs. I know my doctors would say to take morpheme…but I know pain, and this is just a shadow pain…muted, mostly, and tylenol can do the trick.
So I sleep in and savor it like a warm bath. But there is life out there! In my mind I have made myself low sugar peanut butter cookies, and I am have made myself goulash and more kaposta. And in my mind I have finished my manuscript and posted it on this website for access.
in my mind I’m already wearing the incontinence diapers we bought for the cottage, which means I can finally chill out about mistakes.
In my mind I have found the energy to go buy that acrylic painting paper I need so not every painting is on thick canvas.
And in my mind, I can basically tap dance – and walk up the stairs on my own.
But the only parts of that that are true rests with the incontinence and the weakness when it comes to the stairs. And then there is my husband who I worry about all the time. Worry about his work, but also his emotional state of being, and how it is such a struggle to do this for us both…..though downstairs in bed or upstairs in zero energy but pushing any how land he is always fun to be with.
No energy for proofing. i am sure it is getting worse and worse. Oh well, at least words hit the page.
PS I am getting new glasses and that is exciting.