Alright, I’m at Tragos using the internet – last Tragos of the UK, last posting from England. Next up – Euro cruising with the Hungarians as we head to Zsolt’s homeland for a much needed vacation. I’ll write some posts in the car and then publish them as we arrive at various internet cafes. Until then, have a lovely week. The boxes are shipped, the flat has been cleaned, and the photo shoot is over. We’re on our way, baby!
See you soon 😉
Packing update (still no time for pictures):
The boxes are slowly filling. One after another, I’m stuffing them with clothing, books, computer games and cooking hardware. Attempts to sell the mattress have failed. Such is life. We’ll be shipping it to Canada. Time is running out since the movers arrive tomorrow to collect our goods, which means tonight will likely involve last minute quick-fixes – tape and cardboard flying. Went shopping yesterday in attempted retail therapy. Bought amazing dress (Sales Lady said it looked, ‘striking’ then commented how she remembered me from the last time I’d tried it on. That essentially sold the dress. Not sure why – but the word striking suited me perfectly. I’d like to be striking, particularly after this past year of being a Vaseline smear of myself in the mirror). Soon to leave for Hungary with a European road trip in the works. Not planning this trip, instead leaving everything up to my husband and his family. I’ll just be the tired girl in the backseat, typing away on her laptop. Article writing is coming along, but I’m suffering from ‘cheese’ symdrom. It’s like when attractive people suddenly appear ugly in front of the camera. As soon as a spot light is turned on my writing it freezes up – fills with formality and tension – thus resulting in a lost voice. But life is a learning process, problem has been identified – now must rise above. Shake off those nerves.
And that is my situation in the form of facebook status lingo, or twitter tweeting. Many nouns are lost in the process, but too bad so sad. I’m too busy for nouns today. Essentially things are ticking along, but I’m finding it overwhelming. Also, throughout the madness of moving, there is this lurking sadness that keeps swooping down and resting heavily on my mind. It’s funny – when I found out gluten was a bad thing, that really pissed me off. Finding out that my eggs are so low . . . I’m not at the point where I can be pissed off, instead I’m just well-deep sad.
Chances are I should be writing more. It’s such a relief for these feelings, but because of the move there’s no time. So! I’ve snuck in a pinch of typing this morning for Bumpyboobs, thankfully, but now should be off to eat some breakfast. Early morning writing is good for the soul. Helps to lighten my mood (because I shove all my worries on this electronic page, ‘worry distribution’ so that they’re free from my head).
Okay, now it’s really time to go. Zsolt is awake and getting dressed.
Soon this madness will be over and I’ll be floating in spa waters. Almost there, Catherine, you’re almost there.
Ok – packing has STILL not started, and it’s Monday. Movers are due Thursday, so yeah, time’s getting pinched. It’s just hard to get focused. Between a great party last Saturday, selling the car and furniture, planning a road trip across Europe, dressing for that photoshoot, and visiting the theatre in London. . . those boxes arn’t likely to fill anytime soon.
Even writing this post is munching on time. But what the heck, I’ll skip the picture scribbling today.
Right. Last Thursday I was given the crappy news. Fine. Since then I’ve been struck by waves of sadness – but otherwise I’m just moving forward. Things are so busy I don’t even have time to google ‘egg donation’ and that’s probably for the best at this moment.
Zsolt said that while an AMH measures the level of hormones produced by eggs (thus measuring the amount of eggs –ish) it doesn’t measure the quality. So that could be either good or bad, though honestly at the moment I cannot be asked to investigate further. And my acupuncturist said she knew a lady who had similar AMH results, and then several years after the test was pregnant.
Anyhow – this is clearly a situation of “he said this” and “she said that” and “I once heard about a women who”. . . a lot of speculation and encouragement to hope.
But honestly, at this moment (and I’m sure this will change) I’m just tired. I feel tired. Not chemo-tired, just emotionally exhausted and ready for a break.
Cue the summer. I keep telling people about lake Balaton and the spas of Hungary. I keep dreaming of floating through hot water and tanning in the sun. And then there’s this new world over in Canada that I’m trying to imagine – but it’s all water colours – I’ve got a sense, but no shape of what will unfold. This is one of those ‘trust the gut’ situations where everything hopefully works out.
Anyhow. Just checking in to say hello. At this very moment the Zsoltster is going through our filing cabinet trying to empty contents for shipping/binning. Considering he stops at every-single-item for a lovely trip down memory lane, I think it’s going to take a while.
Time to stop typing and help un-file that cabinet.
Later Gator.
Bumpyboobs ~CatherineBrunelleWrites 