How to STAND OUT during chemo and beyond

Posted in After treatment, Bumpboobs, Chemotherapy, Fun by

I don’t know why I’m writing about this today, except that last week I met and chatted with a women who is going through chemotherapy. We met in a coffee shop, and while it’s clear from our chatting that there is much going on with treatment and life, I couldn’t stop thinking how lovely she was looking; she undoubtedly stood out from the coffee shop crowd, and it was largely because she choose to be striking with her clothes and makeup alongside with her bald head.

All of this made me think back in time, as I realised, “Geez, like this beautiful lady (she has a name, I’m just not using it here), I really stood out after chemo with the bald-to-short hair.” Which led to other thoughts like, “Should I cut my hair short again?” (NO!) “Didn’t I promise myself to be fabulous ever moment possible once my body had recovered?” (YES!) “Maybe I should write a post about standing out.” (Which I’m doing right now.)

Here’s the thing about chemotherapy – it knocks you on your ass. And frankly, if you decide to leave your home, which is rather inevitable during treatments, you will attract attention even if you’d rather be invisible to the world.

Let me say it again. You will attract attention.

And after treatment there’s still months upon months of very short hair. Once again, you will attract attention.

But is that a bad thing? If you are going to stand out, then why not do it on your own terms? And hey, why not use the months following chemo as a practise trial for standing out for the rest of your life? Let it be a warm-up for becoming a spectacular presence in your everyday life – a unique energy people can’t help noticing.

Personally, this is a big challenge for me since I grew up being the too-tall-for-the-boys constant wall flower. But the more I try with things like pink glasses, big blue rain boots, funky jackets, pretty clothes, blond highlights to come . . . the easier it becomes. No joke, practice makes this easier, and really satisfying too. Every wall flower wants to be noticed.

Therefore, I present to you, with an invitation to add your own ideas in the comments: Five ideas for standing out during chemo (i.e. whenever you can manage the energy) and beyond!

1. Find some beautiful accessories, e.g. scarves, bracelets, statement necklaces, earrings. Remember, scarves are not exclusively for your head – these can be worn around your neck as well. The lady in the coffee shop wore a beautiful combination of a pale pink scarf wound around a gold thread scarf. The result was so complimentary, I just kept looking at it and thinking how pretty she looked.

2. Smile at people. If they are going to be looking at you, look back at them. Smile, nod, say hello. I’m not saying you need to stop and converse with everyone about cancer or whatever else is on your mind that day, but smiling makes you instantly more relatable. It’s the universal ‘hello’ and everyone is better looking with a smile on their face.

3. Invest in an interesting and impeccably flattering piece of clothing, make it different from the crowd . . . you could snap up something from a local designer, or search a vintage shop for some old-time charm. If you don’t have the energy to shop, no worries – just keep a general eye out, and in the meanwhile look for daring pieces in your closet you’ve never had the guts to wear before this moment in life. (But obviously wanted to, cause how did it end up there otherwise?) Maybe it’s a jacket that’s tailored to your curves, maybe it’s an asymmetrical dress or shirt – I don’t know. All I know is it should be well made and different from anything else you’ve been seeing on the streets.

4. Embrace the short hair . . . at least for a while. I had mixed feelings about my short hair, but while it was there – I tried to style the blond curls (throw-back to my baby hair) sky high like Kramer from Seinfeld. Why not? Having pixie short hair is such a unique experience, and it instantly marks you from the crowd as a daring individual. Instead of hating the hair – love every second of your re-growth, from punk-rocker shaved to Natalie Portman sweet. . . you will stand out with that short hair, so make the most of the experience.  (Speaking of which, I really need to get some highlights put in. I’m aching to go BLOND again!)

5.Embrace colour. Please resist the urge to hide behind black or grey on a daily basis. Okay, I agree that black and muted tones can be very flattering . . . but if you want to be striking, find colour that flatters your skin tones. Couple darker tones (if that’s your comfort zone) with pops of coral, strong blue, light pink, oranges & reds with with blueish tones, green or yellow. Combine those colours with your statement piece, and lady, you’ll be smoking hot – and not because of the menopause!

I have this blue jacket that I wear whenever the weather allows . . . it’s cut quite uniquely, has polka dots and is rather flattering. People say to me often enough, “oh, you’re the girl in the polka dot jacket. I’ve seen you before!” You bet your ass they have. Chances are they’ve seen a lot of people before, but not everyone stands out.

You are fantastic, you are alive, you are YOU. So I reckon take the attention and twist it in your favour. Everyone deserves attention, why not use now to practise how to be present and seen? It’ll get you off to a running start for all those lovely and healthy days to follow treatment.

And that’s my two cents about that!

Catherine

Long-Distance Christmas Calenders ~ Elephoto

Posted in Finding Home, Life, Love by

I don’t know how it works in your relationships, but Zsolt and I once upon a time made a ‘Christmas Deal’ in terms of families. We were meant to alternate between families and countries, so one year in Canada with my clan, and the next year in Hungary with his. Very fair.

The first year after our marriage (since we were married in Canada) we spent Christmas in Hungary. And OH MY GOODNESS, I was miserable. That was my first Christmas away, and it was like ripping off a bandage that had adhere to my skin with super-duper glue. Ouch. Don’t get me wrong – the situation was fantastic: amazing food, white fluffy snow, winter markets, his parents happy, family visiting, people drinking in abundance coupled with bread and paprika kolbasz . . . I was just sick through all of it with a high fever and a case of not-home-heart-break.

During the following year and a bit, I was diagnosed with cancer, Zsolt graduated his PhD, we immigrated our butts back to Canada, and have been here for the holidays since (Two years in a row, 3 for me since Z and I parted the first X-mas after diagnosis).

In theory were are due to travel to Hungary this year and spend Christmas with his family.

In reality, we’re staying here. (Work obligations)

But that doesn’t mean we won’t miss his parents, sister and friends. We’ll miss them like crazy.

Anyhow, this year at the shesconnected conference in Toronto, I was given a 20 dollar voucher from Elephoto after I assaulted their booth on the hunt for photo calendars and nearly cried all over a lovely representative of the company while telling her how, back when I was having chemotherapy and was filled with dread and desperation, photo books had this way of reminding me of better times.  (I’ve been making photo books for years, collecting our vacations together into these little booklets of memories. Ever since leaving England I’ve been seeking out another company from which to order, and so when I heard Elephoto is Canadian – I hunted them down to see what they offered, and check the quality of their prints.)

Why does this tie into Christmas?

Because I reckon if we can’t be there with Zsolt’s family, we’re going to send them some happy memories and let them know that more good times are going to come. (Sometimes when I find a gift I know will make people cry in a good way, I quietly pat myself on the back for the awesome idea. 😉 )

Therefore, I went to Elephoto the other day and uploaded several images for a Samson Family photo calendar. (Don’t worry, they don’t read this blog since it’s in English, so the present won’t be ruined.) After playing around with the interface for a while, making the photos do what I wanted rather than what the template wanted (a little tricky, but doable), I clicked through with the order. We received the calendar in the mail about 2 days ago, and I’m entirely pleased. The paper is a good, heavy quality without being a squeaky photo paper, and all our ‘Samson Family Photos from Balaton, Pecs, Budapest and Hungary with his parents and sister and brother in law’ are all there for 12 months of memories. It’s going to be a hit.

So, thank you very much to Elephoto for letting me try your calendar, and for giving me this lovely gift that I can now pass on to others.

Now, in the meanwhile it’s back to Christmas shopping and gathering more ideas for awesome  presents. I doubt anything will be as touching or tear-jerking as the calendar, but I’m going to give it a shot!

(And next week I go Holiday shopping with my little brother, which I’m totally stoked about  . . . I’m even thinking of stopping with him for hot chocolate somewhere in the market to celebrate the festiveness, if he tolerates the idea.)

Now to end this post, I’d like to know: how do you balance family obligations at Christmas? Anyone have some golden rule, magical transporter device, or no-fail formula they follow?

Please, share your wisdom and/or transporter designs in the comments. 😉

Rocking the Mirror Ball

Posted in After treatment, Bumpboobs, Fun by

We are back in Ottawa after an awesome weekend in Toronto, celebrating Mirror Ball 2012 and Look Good Feel Better’s 20th anniversary. I feel 100% lucky to be connected to Facing Cancer Together, not only because I’ve lived its benefits firsthand, but because the people who pour their efforts into making this website, support programs, emotional cheer leading, warm-hearted community, yearly magazine, bloggers’ stories, and forum conversations all WORK (take a deep breath now if you are reading this aloud for some reason) are even more fabulous than this past weekend’s ball.

So yes, it was my honour to attend the CCTFA’s annual fundraiser gala for Look Good Feel Better and Facing Cancer Together.

I could write all about it, (Like how Dionne Warner gave a moving speech about moving through 8 cancer diagnosis with the love and support of her husband, Graham; and how Don (Riding Shotgun) in his dapper bowtie stood up before the entire audience and shared his story of how the Fc.ca support has touched his life, and thanked the room for their amazing contributions; or how the beautiful lady who once presented me with a 20th anniversary LGFB Movado watch during the Facing Cancer Together Award of Honour presentation (Take another deep breath!) came by my table toward the evening’s close and said she was a fan of Bumpyboobs! She even knew about the cockroaches! – Or how I stayed at a friend’s place for the weekend, and was charmed by a Toronto area called ‘Cabbagetown’.)

Instead of all that, I’ll direct you to the photo gallery on my Bumpyboobs Facebook page. The photographs speak for themselves, it was a wonderful event. (Please feel free to ‘like’ the page while you are there!)

Thank you again to everyone who contributes to making FacingCancer.ca and LGFB work, from the donors, the organizers, the volunteers, the women and those who love them gathering on the page to give and receive support, and the behind the scenes team – THANK YOU. You are all an important part of this community.