Six months later and we’re at the baby doctor’s office, waiting for our consultation. Again, we’re back at the same clinic where I was diagnosed, but thankfully – this time – they have put us in a different waiting area. No more having to stare at the door, the room, the memory of where I was first told about cancer. Thank goodness for that.

So. Today’s appointment with the doctor went rather quickly. Apart from waiting (we always wait) for fifty minutes, everything was straightforward. [Zsolt and I now arrive at a doctor’s office, any doctor’s office, and immediately find the best magazines. Then we plop ourselves into some chairs and engage in the waiting. This is a-okay with me for one reason: when I had my emergency, we didn’t wait more than ten minutes. Now that my crisis is over, it’s okay to let others go first.]

Essentially Dr Baby-Maker recommended that I test my Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) which will help ascertain whether I have any eggs left in my ovaries.  And then later on (whether it’s here or in Canada, but most likely Canada) the test can be repeated and we can see what’s happening with the girls. It’s a game of ‘how fertile are you’. Apparently from a blood test this lab can determine the number of eggs in a woman’s body- described as ‘Ovarian reserve’ ranging from optimal fertility, satisfactory fertility, low fertility and very low/undetectable. Boo for very low fertility, and yay for optimal to satisfactory.

Again, there were reassurances not to worry about my lack of menstrual cycle. So, I am trying not to worry – and what’s the point anyhow, now I’m going to take a test that will monitor my level of eggs . . . so whatever mystery exists is soon to be resolved. Tomorrow I’m calling the clinic to arrange for the test. Because it’s new, the test isn’t covered by the NHS, but – obviously – Zsolt and I think it’s worth the reasonable £50 fee.

Speaking very honestly, I’m not keen to have a treatment like IVF – at least, not at this point. Hormones got me into this breast cancer mess, so avoiding a surge of drug induced hormones (more, following eight years of on-and-off birth control and now the estrogen blocking tamoxifem, though that’s a bit different, it still pertains to estrogen) doesn’t feel like a good idea.

Anyhow, I’ve been surprisingly calm about this entire day. Soon Zsolt and I will learn whether I have eggs left in my ovaries. That’s an important thing. And then we’ll get on with our lives (and our family planning), one way or another. 

PS. Zsolt and I followed this visit to the hospital with a visit to the cemetery. We found the resting place of Benny Hill, a British comedian who Zsolt quite admires. If you are ever around the Southampton general, and you’re a fan, it’s worth stopping by to pay respects.

PPS. The weather here is amazing. Today was all sundresses and shades, with a great dose of clear skies and a warm breeze. Perfect for a walk through the cemetery.