Tag Archives: ottawa

Blog Out Loud 2014! (And breath out)

Posted in Blogging and Other Fun, Bumpboobs, Fun, Life, Writing by

No one is home. That normally means this is the time for me to eat junk food en mass, but for two reasons I won’t be doing that: One . . . Ha! Junk food . . . in my sweet, sweet dreams of the past. And two, I’d rather write about BLOG OUT LOUD!

Dream Come True

Dream Come True

Yesterday Zsolt and I went to Ottawa’s very special event, Blog Out Loud. This is organized by a lovely lady named Lynn of Turtlehead, along with a group of volunteers and other bloggers to help her out, and has become a regular blogging tradition in the local area since 2009.

In past years, I’d see talk of this event pretty much always after it had happened. But this year, thanks to way more time spent on twitter than I should be spending, I caught the news! Not only did I catch the news, but I caught it in time to submit a post to the reading. 🙂

Amazingly the post was chosen (along with 10 other blogger’s posts) from over 60 entries.

Gosh, it’s challenging to choose a reading from 2013. Many of my blog posts don’t stand alone, and others touch on stuff that I just didn’t want to represent at an event like this. The part of me who is a “writer” needs space from the part of me that just . . . gets too much attention, I mean the cancer stuff.

Writer me is like, “no, cancer drama, you cannot play with Catherine today.” So I submitted a little post I wrote while on a train in Hungary about Zsolt’s friend. And it was picked.

Therefore . . .

Yesterday evening Zsolt and I rocked up to this beautiful church on Elgin Street, where the Writers Festival is being held. This year, BOLO has hooked up with the Ottawa International Writers Festival.

(A little side story about this festival. I used blog for the writing festival. Back in 2011 (?) when we first came to Canada, I really wanted to find the writing scene in Ottawa since we’d left my writing peeps in the UK. So, I volunteered to cover events and blog for the Ottawa International Writiers Festival. That was cool. Because of that experience I was able to attend several great events… I even sat right in front of Michael Smith while he went on about food porn, and grocery vs farms, and test kitchens. It was an accomplishment, in my mind, to be a part of this writing festival. Fast forward to yesterday night, and I was actually reading at that very festival. High Five!)

So, we get to the event and I’m stupid nervous. You’d think after attending about a million networking events with Sister Leadership, networking wouldn’t be scary. But it was. Maybe because I cared so damn much. You know, it’s easy to play it cool when there’s little to risk . . . but when you care, care, care about mixing and connecting and making actual connections with people you only see online, but really admire, casual cool just runs outta the room and leaves you there going, “ahhhugh?”

Therefore, we busied ourselves by looking at the books for sale. Zsolt was great. He is always great. We took pictures of covers that I liked, because it’s always good to notice eye-catching designs.

Then back to the mixing . . .

“Ahhhugh” was about all I said for the majority of the evening.

There were two rows of seats near the front, so I planted my butt down on the one with my name on it (AHH!) and relished that safe space.

BUT, I should say that I did meet a few people like Lynn herself (as warm and kind as I had anticipated), Tanya of Spydergrrl, (Tanya is doing a series on live tweeting at events, which I reckon is very useful and will be paying attention towards) and Laurie of Not Just About Cancer. (Along with many more talented and warm ladies after the event ended, and it was so much easier to mix. I don’t know why . . .maybe the live tweets helped? Thank you for the twitter hellos! They were really, really nice to read. Ottawa is awesome not just for its pockets of culture, but for the nice people living here too.)

I should also say that I was so happy to see Laurie – having followed her online through #bcsm and her blog for so long and admiring her and recently chatting with her via skype, to see her in person was such a pleasure. She was wearing this gorgeous red dress, and looked absolutely beautiful.

Anyhow . . . we settled in for the readings, and Lynn introduced us bloggers to a large room full of people one by one.

I was third. It went well. At some point a choir (this being a church) began singing in another room as I read. Maybe that’s a good omen? Anyhow, I didn’t pass out. That’s all that really matters.

(One time I was working at the library in England and this tour group comes in. My manager is away, so I need to describe the library services at the Avenue. As I begin to talk, I find that I cannot breathe in. I talk and talk, the breathe is going out and out, my voice goes up and up. I literally had to choke out the words: “Can’t talk anymore.” The tour guide took over and I hid in the office until they left.)

Screenshot_2014-04-30-22-21-36

There is video footage of all readings, and as soon as it becomes available I’ll link it here for you to watch. The event itself wasn’t too long, so if you settle down with some tea and cookies, it’s really nice viewing to enjoy.

One thing I realized while listening to the bloggers read was that we’re good at being darn tootin’ vulnerable. Whether we are joking about parenthood, or discussing anxiety attacks, reflecting on loss or fear, talking mental illness, looking at judgement, or glorifying that moment of joy in a delicious beverage . . .

. . . the best of blogging contains stories of real life, and real, raw feelings.

Heck, listening to these blogs being read, I realized many of the bloggers I am awed by were probably struggling with the same nerves and social jitters. After all, blogging is a levelling field between extroversion and introversion, between shy and outgoing, between familiar and new. Sometimes that is hard to translate into personal encounters . . . or at least the first encounters.

That’s what I tell myself, this was the first time meeting so many of these ladies. Next time I’ll know them just that bit more, and will be just that bit more relaxed.

It was a good event. I look forward to the next one, and I look forward to meeting more of the fantastic talent this city offers. Geez, I just love blogging.

BOLO 2014!!! WOOOHOO! (Check out all the wonderful readers/bloggers and the BOLO event here)

Next up: Friday. eep.

Sexism Surprise!

Posted in Food, Fun, Life by

Today I went with my best friend to the Ottawa Cookie Jam. This is a local event, and I think this was its very first year. Overall I’d say there were pros and cons, but the idea and the vibe have so much potential. I look forward to seeing this cookie party growing bigger and richer as each year passes.

sexism surprise

Anyhow, so we went to look at cookies. Of course, the only problem was that most cookies were already gone by the time we arrived – which was 25 minutes after the doors opened. So no pretty cookie pictures for you, because I was too busy running around trying to get the cookies before they all disappeared!

(Maybe next year they should stage the servings, or have more cookies. There’s so much cookie potential!)

Mind you, I’m not meant to be eating cookies in the first place. Since the diagnosis of stage IV, I’m really trying to cut all the sugar. My latest vacation wasn’t too helpful in this area, but I guess God was looking down upon my friend and I today, and said: No MORE SUGAR! So that I restricted my cookie temptation.

However, we did get our 8 cookies worth, and we brought them back to her brand new home in Vanier for a tasting. I mostly just ate one cookie – maple walnut, which was gluten free, lovely, and not too sweet at all . . . but overall it was lovely. We met some more friends and had dark tea with cookies.

Lovely!

But to backtrack slightly, as we left the cookie event we decided to walk home from downtown. This meant we had to walk pass one of the best schwarma places in Ottawa. [Schwarmas are like gyros, pitas, kabobs, donairs etc.] So I thought, “Hey, I’m gonna get dinner and lunch for me and Zsolt.” Their chicken platter is so big, it can stretch two meals for two people eating ‘not too big’ portions.

Right, so my friend and I go into the take-out place on the way back home. And we go in, there’s no line-up. We go up to the counter where two men are standing.  . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

And eventually one of them says, “Hi.”

So I said, “Hi,” and then—

THEN he turns back to the other guy, both of their backs to us, and keeps talking to his buddy.

So my awesome friend says very loudly, “Can we get a chicken platter?”

And this dude behind the counter turns back and says something like, “Okay.”

He makes the food. I go and pay.

. . .

. . .

. . .

After I pay, I am waiting for my food to be passed over. But he’s helping the next people, a couple. Finally, he gets the chicken ready for my order . . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Then eventually passes it to me.

And as this is all happening, at some point during this exchange since it’s taking SO much time, the less naive side of myself wakes up from her nap and thinks: he is doing this because we are women.

It’s true. I mean, he didn’t say anything like “You Are Women, Therefore You Wait”. . . but he was quick enough in serving the couple behind me and both my friend and I came to the exact same conclusion.

So where does that leave me? In one of the best schwarma places in town, I encountered something I’d never expected to encounter here in Ottawa .  . . sexism from a guy who isn’t even yet my age. And it wasn’t even your expected body-objectification type sexism . . . it was, ‘you aren’t good enough for me to notice you’ type sexism.

WTF?

Of course, since he didn’t hold up a sign saying “I’m one heck of a sexist jackass” I can’t prove the situation was 100% sexism, but it did feel 100% like sexism.

So it makes me wonder, are we being naive to think sexism isn’t happening all the time around us? Well of course it is! And maybe we’re sexist to men, maybe men are being sexist to us, maybe it’s a cultural thing, or an age thing, or a class thing, or a media thing, or a one-individual-who-can’t-get-his-head-out-of-his-ass thing . . .  maybe it’s a lot of things. But it really leaves me extra unimpressed when it’s an intentional thing.

Anyhow, that schwarma shop isn’t quite so attractive to me anymore. That’s okay though, we’ve got many of these shops in Ottawa from which I’ve received excellent customer service when with girl friends. I love schwarma shops for the relationships you can make with the people behind the counter. Today was just ridiculous – so ridiculous it surprised the heck out of me.

And so there’s a little story about my sexism surprise. Plus, of course, the cookie jam. It was a wonderful Saturday, absolutely perfect in every way despite the dude whose head was too far up his ass. I loved today because it had nothing to do with the drama that has otherwise cast a shadow over my life. I loved the freedom of being with friends, going to events, walking through town and now writing it all down here.

So that’s all there is to that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go dance with my husband.

~Catherine

Catherine Goes Boob Shopping

Posted in After treatment, Bumpboobs, Life by

Today, we’re going to talk about boob shopping. Boob as in a single breast (i.e. a prosthesis). Last week, Zsolt and I decided to finally act upon my long-desired craving for a breast that properly fit my body. Therefore, after waiting and waiting for an opportunity (i.e. insurance) we decided to go for it.

Boob shopping

I call this picture: “Chronically Awkward.” You can see the nerves.

SO! I called up my local mastectomy boutique, aptly named Kelly’s Boutique, and arranged an appointment with Diane Hayes who owns the shop. It’s easy to tell that Diane has her heart in this business. The shop itself is named after her sister-in-law and youngest brother’s wife, Kelly, who lost both breasts to imflammatory breast cancer and later passed away from the disease. Diane herself seems to genuinely thrilled when she can help a woman feel better about her body.

The appointment was made.

Fast forward to the next day, Zsolt and I get on the bus and head to the St.Laurent area. We hop off near the St. Hubert Chicken Restaurant (drool) and cross the road to Kelly’s Boutique.

Now I’ll be honest. I almost cancelled this appointment about six times before actually walking through that door. Zsolt had to talk me down . . . he told me it was okay. Everything would be fine.

Why was I so nervous? I don’t know. I was worried about filling out the insurance since I’ve never done that before in my life, worried about whether I should get a properly-fitting breast form at this point, stressed over something else that had just happened in our lives that I’ll mention another time (sorry that’s so cryptic), and just worried in general. It is my natural tendency to worry.

So we arrive at the boutique, and step into the store.

Sensory overload! Suddenly I went from anxiety to full on “shopping!” mode: There were scarves, hats, BRAS, bikinis, and bathing suits everywhere. The place is PACKED with colourful and varying product. And while I totally avoided the hats .  . . because they kinda make me shiver with memories of chemotherapy, I gravitated to the bras.

Bras. Bras. Bras! Pretty bras that you wouldn’t have seen three years ago when I was first diagnosed. There was one particularly black and purple number I really loved. The price tag was beyond my range, since my insurance doesn’t cover clothing for mastectomy, but I am nevertheless so glad to see that designers are finally catching on. Women want to feel attractive, even after their breasts are taken away.

Okay, so I was playing in the land of bras and bikinis, when Diane’s assistant let me know that Diane was done with her previous client and I could come along now.

Come along where, exactly? (My nerves were rising again.)

We were led to a backroom with a fainting couch (apparently, I’m not the only person who gets nervous) and a full length mirror, and possibly a feather boa – but that could just be from my imagination. Zsolt and I went into the room and waited.

Soon, Diane came in. After a few questions about what I was looking for, (“a boob?”) she said, “okay, let’s see.” So that’s how I found myself, once again, exposing my chest to a stranger. Oh my goodness, if I had a dollar for every person who has seen my chest – I could at least buy 3 pints of Hagendaz ice cream.

Again, I was nervous. But Diane was so professional and so certain in what I needed that the nerves lightened. While she disappeared to pull options, I waited on the sofa wrapped in a slippery bathrobe and took pictures of the place with Zsolt’s phone for this blog post. Then she came back and we looked at her pick.

The BOOB of CHOICE: An Amonea breast form that sticks to my chest!!! We played with the sizes till we found the perfect match, and then she showed me how to stick on the breast. It’s fascinating stuff – and it’s not itchy at all. I was so freaking thrilled with my new boob, I was pushing out my chest for Diane and Zsolt to judge the shape. The two of them (my breasts, not Diane and Zsolt) just looked so very pretty inside that black and purple bra.

Sold! I took the breast.

Do you want to know the very best aspect of this stick-on breast? Well, because it sticks to me and doesn’t sit inside a pocket within the bra that means –

Hold on.

Drum roll.

That means . . .

I CAN BUY ANY BRA I WANT! WoooooHooooo! Bring on the pretty zebra stripes, satins, COLOURS and cheap frills that LaSenza and LaVieEnRose can offer. It has been over three years since I could walk into a lingerie shop and not despise the rows upon rows of unattainable bras representing a part of me that couldn’t be reclaimed. Not without reconstruction, and I long-ago choose never to reconstruct.

But now, with my stick on & not-itchy & not too heavy breast – I can be pretty, and it can done in a way that I can afford.

So that’s the lovely news.

It was a good experience, and I’m so glad I didn’t cancel that appointment.

If you are in Ottawa, and want to visit Kelly’s Boutique, here’s her website with all the needed information: http://kellysboutique.ca/