Did a quick doodle on Zsolt’s new touchscreen. I’m rather impressed with the “play” factor of drawing right onto a screen. It’s like a sketch book, only I can do more after the sketch is done. I haven’t done anything to this, but it gets me excited around possibilities for some doodles. :) ~Catherine
Sometimes I ask myself a really tricky question, which goes like this: Who am I to ____? Fill in the blank with just about whatever you like.
Who am I to have a blog? Who am I to host a podcast? Who am I to ask for crowdfunding support? Who am I to start a business? Who am I to make a video?
[Fair warning, my keyboard has several sticky buttons including the period, so please excuse any missing ‘.’ ‘d’ or ‘k’]
Well basically that could just go on and on. It’s something I struggle with repeatedly. And I guess in those moments, I find some comfort in the label I’ve given myself: “Writer.”
Just yesterday Zsolt said something to me that has gotten me thinking. He revealed he’s been considering this for some time. . . trying to understand what I do, or what I am? And not too long ago, he finally found the answer
“You are not a writer,” he tells me.
And that’s confusing. Because if I’m not a writer, then how did I write this blog these past four years, or those articles, or those posts across the internet, or my beloved novel Claire Never Ending?
“What do you mean I’m not a writer?”
Calling myself a writer has been really good for me. It’s given me courage to answer that question: “Who am I to?” with the answer of “I’m a writer, damn it!”
“You’re not a writer,” Zsolt says to me again. And then he explains how when people ask him, when is her next book coming out – and he sees I’m not actually working on a next book — he’s never sure what to say.
(This actually gives me very clear flashbacks to family gatherings around various holidays when people ask: So what are you doing? And for years upon years I’d reply, “Ahhh. Punch bowl.” Then disappear to get another drink.
So you see, when I found the title of writer and tried it on, it became a ‘job’ description that I really quite enjoy. It fits me well. I don’t make any money from it – or rather, the money I make from writing stems from clients ideas, or website design, or social management, all very nice, too. But when I say I’m a writer, I’m not actually thinking of my work. I’m thinking of the blog posts, guest posts, articles, chapters, challenges, stories . . .
Anyhow, all that to say, the label gives me courage and congruency at those awkward family gatherings.
So, the big Z really threw me with his conclusion that I’m not a writer.
“Why am I not a writer?” I ask him.
“You’re a creator,” he replies. “You are a media person, and content maker, a person who has to make things”
Hmm. I actually rather like that. I’m a writer, for sure, and don’t you forget it, but I’m also . . . a creator. I create things. Sometimes it’s art. Sometimes it’s a t-shirt. Other times it’s a video. And this is all okay, I guess, because I have a label to give me courage: I’m a creator and I like to tell stories. I guess I’m a creative multi-media storyteller. It’s not going to go on my business card, but I think perhaps at my core & behind it all, I really am this.
I’m also a business woman, entrepreneur, endurance lifer, wife, traveller, house keepr, company manager, book shelver, co-host, WRITER, advocate, community lover, storyteller, doodler, learner . . . with all these hats, it’s no wonder my love is feeling confused as to what exactly I do.
But like I say, that’s not something to put on a resume. And definitely not something to tell the customs agent when they ask what I do for a living.
However, he has gotten me thinking. And so maybe next time I’m feeling uncertain, I can reference his broad and generous conclusion. Who am I to _____? I’m Catherine Brunelle, damn it!
And that is all I have to say about that.
Hey there! I’m literally running out the door right now (in my snowpants and winterboots) but want to let everyone know this giveaway is happening right now over on my writing podcast, Write Along Radio. I’ve made a cute “Happy Writer” t-shirt, and know many folks reading this blog are writers/bloggers themselves.
So, please do go and enter. It would make me so happy if one of the bumpyboobs crew won. I can’t actually help you win, but there are loads of entry options. So do enjoy! :) And please, don’t forget to check out the rest of the site/podcast episodes. We’ve been working like crazy over it & feel super proud.