Must, stop, reading . . .

Holy shit. Reading about cancer, and breast cancer, and breast cancer in young women is not helping me. It makes me realize that for young people the prognosis is not fantastic (often because it is caught late). God, I was a happier sick person when I thought it was more straightforward. Apparently, so I’ve read and heard, somewhere around 90% of breast cancer caught early is fixable. Only problem is that for young women like myself there is no yearly screening, and often times a lump is passed off as a cyst.

That is my bright side; I found the bump, had it checked, had the biopsy and am in the treatment stream — all within three weeks. I have hope that next Wednesday when I go for my consultation they won’t slip me any news about spreading or advanced stages. But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared, because last Monday I had also hoped for good news . . . and we know how that turned out.

But a little bit of ignorance isn’t always a bad thing. Just knowing I need to fight is enough. Realizing I could die is more discouraging than motivating.

And on that note, I’m going to watch an episode of Lost.

“Oh television, you sweet mind-numbing box of nothingness, where would I be without you?”

However, anyone looking for a blog roll of young people dealing with cancer might enjoy this page. Another page with more information and support for young women with breast cancer is here.

4 thoughts on “Must, stop, reading . . .

  1. I agree that reading about it is scary, yet I can’t help but feel that being informed is useful since one can then ask one’s doctors more pointed questions and really take an active part in treatment choices.

    The best advice I had for my mom when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, 2 years ago, was to take it one day at a time. I taught her how to live in the moment, thus reducing her anxiety about her next phase of treatment.

    All my love, Francoise

  2. Thank goodness for Lost. Whenever we think we have problems in life, there are those poor people stuck on a tropical island paradise who can’t get home. 😉

  3. Hi Catherine,

    My sister Peggy knows your mother Marcelle so she told me about your blog. Peggy has spoken to Marcelle about my breast cancer. I was diagnosed in January of this year and I’ve had surgery and I’m now half way through my chemo. I’m a lot older than you are (49)but I can certainly sympathize with how you must feel in terms of the cancer and treatment. I saw the posts on “Must, stop, reading” and I SO agree with you. I end up going on the internet or picking up a book with a question in mind and inevitably end up completely depressed. I just don’t look at it anymore and I’m so much happier. I don’t know if you’ve had your surgery yet or not but I had a lumpectomy and then mastectomy and I can’t tell you how good it feels when you know that they’ve gotten all the cancer. I have a blog too: I promise that mine won’t make you feel as if you must, stop, reading. Kim

    • Hello Kim,

      Thanks for taking the time to write. I’m sorry to hear about your breast cancer, but glad to hear you’re half way through chemo – good for you!

      Yes, it is easier to back away from the computer, but, it is also so good to hear and share with others. I’m really glad you contacted me, and I’ll be very happy to follow your blog. Having a conversation online is completely different than reading article after article about chances, and methods, and causes.

      So thank you for writing. And thanks for letting me know about your lumpectomy and mastectomy. I’ll be having a mastectomy this Thursday (feeling a roller coast wave of emotions lately), and it is good to hear about your relief.

      I look forward to that relief.

      Take care, Catherine

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