Mastectomy scar

An alien has landed on my chest. It’s taken over the place where my breast once lived, and is lying there flat as a beached jelly fish with a red, thin scar through the middle. Or so it seems.

About fifteen minutes ago a nurse removed the bandage and paper stitches from my wound. Bit by bit the sticky papers were gently peeled off. After several minutes of wincing and looking away, she finally leaned back. ‘All clear, it’s done.’

I waited till the nurse left before looking. With Zsolt holding my hand and mom on standby with a big cup of tea – we all looked down together.

Overall this could be worse. One: I could still have the cancer in my body. Two: I could have Frankenstein stitches. Three: it could have been infected, or swollen, or just plain ugly.

Instead it is a clean wound that is healing. ‘Fabulous’ was the nurse’s word. ‘Tidy’ would be mine. Fabulous seems a bit of an overstatement. Shopping in Iceland would be fabulous, eating Pizza on the roof of Jasper Pizza Place would be fabulous, spending the day at that spa in Kanata – fabulous.

It looks like an alien breast . . . the same way movie aliens have no hair, my right breast has no nipple  and no curve either. It’s been ironed flat, though a small bit of soft tissue is left behind (probably in case I decide to have reconstruction). There’s a horizontal scar running across the right side of my chest, like a puppet’s mouth . . . any moment it’ll start talking.

First reactions – Grief. Loss. And my poor left breast looks quite alone, somehow it’s also become more strange to me. Neither side seems to belong, not like they once did. But time should maks things easier. Sooner than later I’ll look down and not think twice. Hmm, I like that rhyme: It will be nice to not think twice.

A cancer-free boob. That’s a first in regards to birthday presents.

5 thoughts on “Mastectomy scar

  1. SCARS somehow mark personal battles

    From the tiny they healed I kissed my baby daugther’s scars in hopes that it might help her emotionally when she was older I would kiss the one and say “this one saved your life” and the other “this one made you better”.

    We continue to pray for your renewed health and healing.


  2. Hi Catherine,

    It sounds like a job well done. No cancer, a clean wound healing nicely, a red thin scar. Over time, the bruising, the redness of the scar, and any pulling or tightness will be a thing of the past. If your’re like me, the scar will become pale, white, flatten out (i.e., no ridge) and be barely visible.

    Any speculation as to what the mystery holes are? My holes running along both sides of my scar were from the staples… I remember being worried that I would have puncture wounds which looked like bad stiching from a giant’s sewing maching.

    Today is your birthday, so I’m seeing you blowing out 28 candles on a magical birthday cake, and your biggest wish coming true. 🙂

  3. Catherine,

    sending you LOTS of healing vibes and LOTS of courage. You are a very SPECIAL young lady. LOTS of love ♥♥♥♥♥ :)))

    – France

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