You may or may not know (though I do chat about it often) that I had taken Zoladex (goserelin) during my chemotherapy. What does Zoladex do? It shuts down your ovaries. Why was I taking it? In hopes that it might protect my ovaries and eggs while they were pumping in stuff to kill fast growing cells. What was the result? Bye bye period.

A potential risk of chemotherapy is the loss of fertility. Yes, ok, fair enough. So I asked the doctor: how will I know if I’m fertile? To which the doctor replied: You will get your period.

I’m not in the mood to freak out, but about two and a half months have passed since the Zoladex should have ‘worn off’. But for some women menstration doesn’t kick-in for months, so this delay is still in the range of normal.

Either it will come back eventually, or if chemotherapy killed my fertility, it will never come back at all.

Anyhow, so this has left me clinging to any and all signs of possible ovulation/PMS/period. Signs of ovulation/PMS/period:

Mood swings – I’m awesome one second and weeping the next. . . Similar to chemotherapy, actually.

I get randy –  like a week or two before my period a whole new kinda woman emerges (studies have shown that when women are ovulating they wear more revealing clothing. Interesting – we are programmed to project ourselves (and to notice others) when most fertile. Isn’t that fascinating? Next time you’re in a public place, look at the women around you guess who is ovulating.)

Cramps and bloating – the less fun side-effect of fertility and menstruation. Thank goodness for hot water bottles.

Food cravings!  And just this past moment I was nearly ACHING for dark chocolate. As this craving surged through me, I thought – hey, hold on, does this mean I’m ovulating? But then I was hit by a hot flash, so it’s quite possible I am not ovulating. Can a person ovulate and hot flash at the same time? Maybe . . .  isn’t that part of menopause? Not everyone turns off their ovaries with the pop of a pill.

Anyhow, why am I sharing this? Because it’s interesting and I’m in the mood to chat. But now it’s time to stop, because Zsolt’s abstract is waiting and I’m yet to look it over.

Final word: CHOCOLATE!!!