(i.e. a random and wandering post)
Life back in Canada has been one hop to the next. I’ll be perfectly honest, coming home was not easy. It was H-A-R-D. Coming home doesn’t just mean seeing family, getting on with the book promotion and cups of tea with friends. It means hospital appointments, Zoladex shots, test results, CT scans, etc.
So while I got on the plane, it was not without great trepidation. To be honest, I’d sometimes prefer to run away from this mess. It’s such a challenge to face my health again. But unless I really do decide to run away, this is the time for one foot before the other. No joke, I cry and cry to let it all go. (Just before leaving we had lunch at Zsolt’s parent’s house. I couldn’t take it, my mind was flashing with hospitals and dread, so I went upstairs to cry myself satisfied in the bathroom. Little did I know they were crying downstairs as well about us leaving Hungary. So, everyone was crying. But I think that’s a good thing, because these are our emotions and they deserve to be honoured. Saying goodbye at the airport was easier because of this experience. )
Anyhow, I cry and then I stop crying. Instead I tidy the apartment, get rolling with my book and other writing (seriously, writing and creative projects are my JOY), and will eventually unpack the suitcase. Just now I wrote my newsletter, which was interesting. It was like a blog post, almost – except with more links. Hmm, I still need to finish a short story for that. . .
Oh my goodness, another good thing: I’ve made a schedule for myself. With the freelancing work, the book, a new part-time job, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, plus vitmain C treatments and hospital appointments … there is a lot to juggle. Strict scheduling is my tool for sanity. I’m sure this juggling act is much easier than many other people’s busy lives.
But I disgress from the purpose of this post!
A friend was kind enough to send me some beautiful music. I mean, this is beautiful. It’s candy for the ears, as she put it. And it is – except there’s no actual sugar and I’m certain it’ll fill your body up with happy hormones.
Listen, smile, and listen again.
Talk to you later,
5 thoughts on “The most charming thing you’ll watch today”
I can understand why leaving your lovely interlude in Hungary was so wrenching. I am so glad you were able to cry those tears that needed shedding. and also glad that your turned your eye to wrangling all your activities onto a schedule! it must have been such a relief – good for you!
the Cults Percussion music WAS the most charming thing I heard today – even though it just might have produced and ear worm – I can’t get the sound of that zippy tune out of my head – er, ear. thanks for sharing.
much love and light,
I’m so very glad you enjoyed it! A friend shared it with me, and it felt so good to the ear.
Welcome home. It’s hard, I know. Everything changes. No matter how much we want to lacquer everything and make it freeze in place, time moves forward (dammit) and things change (fuck!). I’m sill glad you had the opportunity to go to Hungary, though. It sounds like a beautiful place. I hope I make it there some day.
Cry all you need to. I find it to be healing as well as…exfoliating. 😀
🙂 Exfoliating. I love that 🙂
Schedule juggling is a tough thing to do, especially for the organizing-challenged person like me. I marvel at all you are successfully juggling… And yes, “cry myself satisfied” is something many of us can relate to, or at least I sure can. Crying on your own schedule (as in – in the bathroom when you feel like it) can be quite cleansing. Thanks for sharing the lovely music. Brought me a smile.