Merry Christmas!!! (But not a Christmas post)

2 AM post

Today was a very good day. Really it was lovely. Dr Canada prescribed me some pills, and after two days of being unable to eat – finally I have both appetite and some strength.

Plus my family visited today. Zsolt and I are staying at my parents house for Christmas, and stayed all of last week for not eating, etc, and my brother, his lady and my brother came over.

In addition, I had just enough energy to go to my friends’ annual Christmas Eve Eve party, which is in a bar and relaxed.

So compared to yesterday this was a Christmas miracle.

Another interesting thing about having mets to the brain, is (apart from being unable  to eat or feel my face) truly bizarre side effect of lucid visions. Not when I’m ‘awake’ but the minute I close my eyes and try to sleep I see things. Weird and beautiful and distracting things. Mostly I see what looks like cross stitch patterns you might see in a tapestry. Except it is a very clean tapestry and if the vision allows me, I can go in incredibly close to examine the details.

I tried to envision an apple – simple right? What I got instead was this pattern of colour-apple green-stitched in small bundles ultimately forming small squared  stitched upon a basic bed of cold grey wove together. And as I watched, more apple green stitches appeared, and I realized they were right up to my face, essentially touching everything I saw.


So, pretty fudge buckets weird or what. Because this wasn’t a dream. I was trying to entire an apple to form from the ether and never expect. By the by, when I open my eyes – I STILL see these objects.

Another vision was of Marie Antoinette with her courtesans in some French garden yard. Except I could see the incredibly fine details of her dress. And I stared more intently at this, the texture began to pour down the back of the dress like black sand emeralds, till all the courtesan and Antoinne morphed into sand and stepped into a wall.

Then I blinked and was back with my husband, the wall lost in the whiteness of his t-shirt.

In time I hope to either get ride of this or get used to it.

In the meanwhile….weird-oh-rama.

It’s reasons like this I’m not keen to try weed again. Life is already enough of a trip.


MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!! There are many ways to be kind to one another. And in the wake of yesterday, many of you have founds way to express that to me and Zsolt. Thank you.

PS as I wrote this at 2 AM, I am amazed any one ‘reading this’ was about to understand the incoherent blurb of text that it is! Well done you folks. I’ve tried to fix it a bit today.

9 thoughts on “Merry Christmas!!! (But not a Christmas post)

  1. Merry Christmas!!! Lucid dreams, interesting. I am going to have to explore. I have bad vision/double vision from my brain mets at the moment. Hopefully WBR clears that one up. Love to you and your family Catherine! I love my tiny painting on my mantle. ❤

  2. merry christmas to you! and thank you. meg and i are so grateful to you for sharing yourself–your life and experiences, your creativity, your honesty and your love for zsolt. we send our love and wishes for a beautiful, peaceful season for you and your whole family.

  3. Hi Catherine,

    I enjoyed reading about your lucid visions. To me, lucid visions are like pulling back a curtain from a hidden reality and peering into a different world of intuition, creativity, past lives, universal knowledge, and future events. My lucid visions occur spontaneously in great detail and colour, about topics with which I am not familiar. This lack of familiarity means that I am not consciously creating these images, but instead I seem to be tapping into them, the way a radio can tap into radio waves that surround us.

    The images may linger for up to 10 seconds after I open my eyes, and I try to draw them quickly before they fade since I can’t draw them once they disappear. I have also tried to research some of these images, and in a few cases, they have pointed to a historical event or a geographical location that has been documented … boy do I get excited when that happens!

    I embrace my lucid visions as a sixth sense which brings to me beauty, happiness, peace and curiosity.

    Do I believe the “experts” who say that lucid visions are just chemical reactions in the brain which have no bearing on physical reality? No!

    Could it be that you once were a maker of tapestry? Could you have been present in Marie-Antoinette’s court? Maybe.

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