I really don’t want to repeat the words Dr Canada said to Zsolt today. I don’t want to repeat them because I truly don’t know how to deal with all this. Life shouldn’t be measured in years- it should be measured in experiences, and contributions and love. Each day is a gift. And quite frankly, I’ve been one of the luckiest people I know. So many things worked out when most needed. Life has been filled with friendship and love, with beauty and exploration, with laughter and family. Most fortune, I found the love of my life and knew right away. Zsolt and I have wasted no time in this life. I hold no regrets.
Except, of course, for the reality of leaving him. This is something I truly struggle to face. Dr Verma said some rather blunt words to us today. Words that are much less about hope and far more about facing the current situation. And we are going to face the current situation. And it is scary. I worry about the process of dying. It’s terrifying. And I worry about leaving my husband behind. There would never have been enough time between us – but time isn’t what matters – just living as best as can be lived and loving as hard as possible.
It’s hard. It’s Christmas, and it is hard. But you know, we’re still so blessed. So very, very blessed.