Category Archives: Travel

Letting the tea cool

Posted in After treatment, Bumpboobs, Canada, Life, Travel, Writing by

This has been some week. One for the grey matter, that’s for sure. What started with a string of doctor’s appointments led into going to Montreal, visiting friends, and learning how to balance the accounts at my parent’s office. So now it’s Sunday. And now I’m done. Next week – that’s tomorrow, there will be more. There will be forms to fill, more travel to arrange, friends to meet (yay!), accounting to learn and hopefully, if I can cram it in, writing.Something about doctor’s appointments never settle well in my stomach, particularly when overwhelmed with new ideas. I went to an appointment last week with a doctor who has many novel approaches on how to best battle cancer (and just be healthy in general). This is a good thing, because the more perspectives the better and she’s  very informed and totally passionate. But by the end of our session, particularly considering I’d been to visit Dr Canada the day before, I was 100% exhausted. Exhausted and mad. Mad. Mad. Mad. Having to deal makes me mad. You know? Having to examine my diet, having to take supplements, having to give blood – simply having to deal. Too much at once can make me retreat into nothing all together.

Most often my preferred behaviour would be to hop on a plane for the south of France and live along the beach with the shells and sand castles. Zsolt could join me, just like he did when we first met. Or maybe we could rent a quad bike and get lost at dusk in the hills of Corfu. Or visit a market where we don’t speak the language and ask the locals to show us their cheese. Wander down cobblestone passages as we explore the heart of Rome. Spend a day dipping in and out of both thermal and cold waters. Biking along the shore of Balaton. Driving through the rocky mountains. Hiking along the coast of Nova Scotia. Canoeing in pyramid lake. Sitting in my parent’s living room as the fire burns. Playing Rummy with my family.

Sigh.

And then I remember why I need to stay better. You know? Why I need to keep working on health. Why I have to guarantee myself I’ll do my best. These are the things to remember.

So yes, I get mad. I get so incredibly overwhelmed. I become disconnected in response. It can happen to anyone.

But thank goodness for writing, and remembering too. Thank goodness for taking the time to blog and reflect. Writing reveals what’s most important. It’s a reflection, a time machine, an opportunity.

Did you know that in 2013, Zsolt and I will travel to India? We will. Now there’s an adventure to look forward to.

(Another element, beside having seen family and friends this past weekend, to improving my mood was eating a serving of pecans. Not a cheap nut, but a good one. Mixed with light honey and a few dashes of cayenne pepper, broiled in the oven till they sizzled . . .  cooled, and then popped into my waiting mouth. Just you try and be grumpy after that.)

The conference went well

Posted in After treatment, Bumpboobs, Fun, Travel by

Okay I’m heading for the bed because tonight I need to stay up late (like past ten) so that I can review the Ukrainia concert that is going to be happening. Honestly, the review will probably go like this: they were awesome! And we danced.  Because I’m no music critique.

But I wanted to first stop in here and tell you about the conference. It went great. Great! The entire audience was composed (with a few exceptions) of nurses. Wonderful, beautiful, ever-learning nurses.  I know that as a patient, I might over-idolize the people who helped me (and demonize, since my mood can change depending on the drugs getting pumped) but when it comes to nurses, well, can they get enough praise? Like I said in my earlier post, during treatment there was no way I could handle saying what I really felt – but last Wednesday in the Midland country golf course, Catherine told it like it was.

And how they had helped.

What was inspiring.

How the journey became easier.

Which was all down to simple humanity. People being kind.

Anyhoo – they seemed to enjoy the speech, enjoy my way of presenting (Dad was all, “don’t stand behind the podium, get a clip-on mic and no power point. So I followed his urgings to, I believe, my benefit. It was a great talk), and most importantly they enjoyed my content. Hugs followed. Many, many hugs.

So it was a day to smile. Zsolt and I had a small vacation from Ottawa, and the conference was really enjoyable. Two thumbs up for a positive experience. May there be many more in the future.

Morning list of random stuff

Posted in After treatment, Bumpboobs, Fun, Life, Travel, Writing by

Here’s a quickie posting and hello.

Two things I ought to mention:

 1) I really adore the cucumber that hangs outside my bedroom window. I sleep in a basement room, and the plant hangs down into my ‘dug out’ window. This is the loveliest cucumber, and I regret that it’ll soon have to be picked. But what can I do? Use it or lose it.  Well . . .  lose it either way, I suppose, but eat it as a bonus. Feels so savage.

2) Tonight I’m off to Ashbury College to attend a Q & A plus signing with Chef Michael Smith. He’s just released a new cookbook called Chef Michael Smith’s Kitchen. This book is meant to contain 100 of his favourite recipes, which makes me wonder what his other books contain, and whether he’s allowed to do repeat performances of meal ideas. Can this be the ‘greatest hits’ of Michael Smith, and are these really his favourite recipes, and if so – why? And why weren’t they included before?

It’s like a mystery to unpick. But mostly I’m looking forward to sampling the appetizers and listening to this very tall man speak. He says that food is about creating stories. So I’m hoping he’s got some great stories to tell, considering all the food he makes.

I’m excited for tonight. Super cool! Plus it will be my first review for the Ottawa Writers Festival pre-festival line-up. Awesome.

And a few things I’ll ramble on about:

3) I have started taking my vitamins again. It’s this weird personal battle with me – what to do, don’t want to do anything, hate to acknowledge there was ever a problem, and mostly I just want to move on. But I’m part of a large community of women who have fought through cancer one way or another, and when I hear about someone’s reoccurrence it’s so sad (horrible) for them, and completely unnerving for me. This is not the reminder I want, yet it happens, and it says: ‘Keep going Catherine, you lazy butt . Keep fighting this!’ But nevertheless, it happens and then shocks me out the treatment depression. Treatment depression. Sorta like  no-job depression, or not-yet-finished-writing-this-damn-book depression. I have the horrible tendency to do nothing when things fall into a slump. And it takes a lot of effort (or a wake up) to get me moving that ambition once again.  It also takes a lot of effort to be in the slump – cause mentally no one likes to feel stagnant. Horrible stuff. So starting with little things like taking my vitamins and signing up for the local yoga class and visiting  Awakeing Potentials for a session . . . slowly I’m making things better, to become better. I really like better. Or ever more – awesome. I love awesome. And the steps make me feel proactive. Being proactive gives me hope in all areas of life.

4) I’ve started eating scrambled eggs. Free range, preferably vegetable grain fed. For some reason I can suddenly stomach the cooked up puffs of yellow. All other eggs are still not welcome, but scrambled I can handle. It’s a good change.

5) Next week Zsolt and I should be going to Tremblant for a little autumn revelling and family-time. Plus, I’m bringing my laptop and feel intent on locking myself away until this next chapter is finished being forged. Maybe we’ll find a canoe and take to the water?

And this, ladies and gentlemen, has been the ‘I just got up and have all these things on my mind’ list. Brought to you by English Breakfast tea and dried cranberries, which I’ve already finished eating.

Have yourself a wonderful day. I think the weather in Ottawa is outstanding. Ten points to Ontario for having a lovely climate this late into September. Bonus points promised if it lasts into October.