Tag Archives: christmas

Bonjour Lulu!

Posted in Bumpboobs, Chemotherapy, Love, Treatment by

So I’ve been posting a lot lately – it’s a response to Lulu, who asked about my posting, or lack of posting. Well here you go Lulu! Freshly pressed, as they say here.

Sunday afternoon, between my waves of sleep and hot flashes, Zsolt and I put up the Christmas tree. And please, don’t check your calendar – yes, it’s still November. But if I do end up leaving for Canada (if, when, etc) our Samson/Brunelle family needs to have covered a certain amount of festive celebration.

The stockings are hung, the tiny tree is standing and covered with ornaments, tinsly stuff is around the doorway, and we have Christmas music playing. I love it.

After decorating the tree we snuggled down and watched The Santa Clause, which Zsolt said was the stupidest movie ever (fart jokes are never a good sign) – but still sat through because I got a kick out of it. Funny how the cheesiest films can hold a place in our heart so long as they’re connected to a memory. I remember watching The Santa Clause in my basement with Mom and Dad as the wood fire burned. Mind you, I fell asleep toward the end and Zsolt had to carry on watching (I fell asleep on Zsolt, so he was stuck there). Poor fellow : )

Today we are still in the Christmas cheer, but life hasn’t stopped. Yesterday Zsolt discovered MOULD along the skirting in the bedroom, and behind the washing machine (and around the blasted windows, though we already knew about that). No wonder my eyes itch. AHHH. No wonder. The idea was that he’d clean it all away yesterday while I went in to work (which I paid for later in the form of Zombieism) and I could avoid the mould madness. Unfortunately the spray ran out after about two shots. So! Today we try again.

I dream of a flat with no allergies, and sunshine, and heating, and a nice view. It’d take all the good elements of our past three apartments and wrap them into one perfect package. The Dream Flat – which is actually a house, since I’m dreaming. A house with a yard and big trees nearby (but not so close as to threaten the structure).

Well, if we can just get rid of the mould our current home will be quite good. Zsolt needs to start spraying.

And that, Lulu, is all that is happening over here. Not much else to say. Zsolt and I are doing well; he’s working on his thesis and I am getting rest. Only six treatments left till chemotherapy is over, and if this Ottawa Hospital thing works out, only four more treatments till I go home.

Things are coming along. : ) See you soon.

What’s up, doc?

Posted in Bumpboobs, Canada, Chemotherapy, Life, Treatment by

Last Friday, Zsolt and I met with the lead oncologist. We arrived with a list of questions, but before I could even mouth the word  “Christmas”  we had to first cover the basics.

The basics

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Me: Fine.

Doctor: Any mouth sores?

Me: No .

Doctor: How are your fingers and toes?

Me: Good.

Doctor: And your energy?

Me: Still tired.

Doctor: How’s your mood?

Me: Okay.

Doctor: And your bowels?

Me: Fine.

Doctor: What about nausea?

Me: No.

. . . . .

Doctor: Okay, let’s talk about Christmas.

FINALLY! So that ended the basics. Basically, I’m coping with chemo and plugging along. I get tired, I get sore, I get better, I go to work and proceed as normally as possible.

The conversation then shifted to how many doses of paxlitaxol are ‘enough’. Honestly, he gave the same vague answer that all the doctors have given – in that, studies are based on twelve doses, reducing that dose might/could/possibly make a marginal difference in my chances, but he can’t say for certain. It was his opinion, however, that I finish the entire course.

Blah. Okay, fine.

It was also his opinion that finishing chemo in Canada is entirely possible. He would send an email to the hospital in Ottawa, and we’ll see what they say. Nice!

I realize that travelling during chemotherapy will be exhausting. I am aware. But I want to go home, and this is a compromise.  So, if everything works out on the Canadian side of things, I will be able to see my family over the holidays. That means a lot to me.  Zsolt will drive me to the airport, an airline rep will take me through the airport, and then (with thanks a whole lotta air miles) I’ll fly first class home – where I’ll be helped off the plane and delivered to my family. It will be exhausting, but at least I’ll be supported. Plus Air Canada has those pods up in first class, so I’ll be able to lay back and sleep.

Next week we should hear more – hopefully by then the ball will be rolling.

It’s good news that satisfies everyone.  Zsolt is happy, I am happy, and hopefully the journey isn’t too difficult.

Thumbs up for a good meeting! Yay!

Too early for Christmas?

Posted in Bumpboobs, Canada, Chemotherapy, Finding Home, Life, Love, Treatment by

I’m starting to think about Christmas. And no, I do not mean Christmas in Canada.

Every year Zsolt and I celebrate Christmas together, but in actual fact – only one of those celebrations has actually been on the 25th of December. Long distance means long distance families, long distance celebrations, long distance flights and, ultimately, high priced tickets. It’d be awesome (if not also exhausting) to celebrate Christmas in Canada, then hop on a plane and continue celebrations in Hungary. Awesome, but totally ridiculous. So, until that Star Trek transportation option becomes available, we generally spend the holiday apart.

But not quite. We have our own celebrate before separating, and it’s an event that I love. The month of December starts with the revival of old favourites on the speaker: Santa baby, White Christmas, Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, Silent night, Jingle bells, Baby it’s cold outside, and so on.

Next comes out the box stored above our dresser marked ‘x-mas decorations’. We have years old tinsel, paper snowflakes, greeting cards, lights, and a bent up Woolworths tree that cost £2 and stands at about 75 cm tall. The box also contains ornaments in the shape of stars, wooly sheep, pickles, beets, angles, birds, fish, and those tiny bells you can pull off Lindor chocolate figures. Whenever Zsolt and I travel to a new country(or any  place we like) we buy an ornament. So, nothing matches but everything has a meaning or memory attached.

And following the decorations I turn my mind to baking. Not sure how it’ll work this year, but I traditionally like to prepare for the celebrations with cookies.  My grandmother, Lulu, makes the most wonderful gingerbread cookies, and while my cookies pale in comparison – I still give it a try. Back when I must have been three or four years old my family would go to Lulu’s for Christmas, and I would watch the baking gingerbread men inside her oven. Then, on Christmas eve after réveillon, we’d put out a plate for Santa Claus with some milk on the side.

I bet Santa thought they were the best cookies on the block, or even in the whole of Montreal. Or the world, for that matter. I did too.

And so I bake cookies every year to celebrate with Zsolt. Running up to the occasion we might go to the Christmas Market in town, or Winchester if time (and energy) allows. And then we start watching the movies –White Christmas, Nightmare Before Christmas, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Love actually. Any suggestions for a new film?

“Don’t get too Christmassy yet,” says Zsolt just now. “It’s only October. That’s more than two months.”

Pshhh. I’m waving away that idea. Heck! They don’t even celebrate Halloween in England. There’s nothing blocking my view of the upcoming festive season. Okay, okay! Clearly I’m getting ahead of myself. But what else is there to do? This year I only have a couple productive days per week – without planning ahead, where will I find the energy to make and do and prepare?

Well, anyhow. Chemo went well yesterday. Apart from the drowsy drug they fed me at the start, it was tolerable. I lay in the chair with my toque on and waited to leave, and once home things  improved. Second treatment no nausea. 🙂  Now it’s time to rest, which explains my drifting mind.

The final bit of Christmas with Zsolt is when we make a large meal and share presents and dance to our favourite music. So this year it might be Indian take away instead of chicken with stuffing. That’s okay. Zsolt will be there. I will be there. We’ll still dance.

It’s all two months away, but time is flying. It’s flying. I has to fly. Afterwards – after all this – it’s welcomed to slow again. Crawl if it wants. Time can turn into treacle for all I care.

Right now is good. I’m not sick, Zsolt isn’t sick, and we’re enjoying the sun through our widow. Now is good. But time is still flying, as it must, at least until this is all over with.

At which point, I demand a vacation.