Every few months I get an x-ray of my lungs. This is done to check on the spots. You see, last summer when the spots were discovered by the CT, I’d also had an x-ray which didn’t show any cancer. The spots were too small to appear on that less precise form of x-ray imagining.
Therefore, I’ve had an x-ray since then with the idea being, if no spots show up than the cancer is stable. Truth be told, I am having a hard time handling these little hurdles in the metastatic way of life, and so I didn’t blog about their coming or their going. There was nothing to say, I was stable – i.e. nothing showed up.
Last week I went for a CT scan. My oncologist, Dr. Canada , has had hopes of adding me to the latest promising phase three study, where I may have (it is randomized) been given that drug in testing Palbociclib, which seems very promising for ‘extending life’ – which is very good and yet not good enough, if you ask me. If there was any change in the scan, I would be eligible.
I didn’t write about this scan last week. I couldn’t. It felt like my world was about to crash. Mixed between normality were cracks of panic. And what is very hard in all of this, is that these scans and checks are now a way of life. One scan or x-ray will always be followed be another in a few/several months. Metastatic breast cancer, unlike stage three and below, has no end of treatment. It’s living scan to scan, and I wonder if anyone can become hardened against this.
But I don’t really want to talk about that today. So I will stop there. Today I’d rather look at the encouraging things.
I had my results yesterday. They were good. We went out in the evening to celebrate with my parents, because even if I do need to go through this every few months – good news is GOOD. It means something is being done right. The cancer tumors were not just stable, but had somewhat shrunk across the board. Shrinking is a good thing.
Lord, I’m doing so much right now. There’s the vitamin C, the Zoladex, the supplements, the emotional work. So it is hard to say what is working. Maybe it’s my body’s immune system? Maybe it was publishing my novel? Maybe it is just everything all combined? All I know is this is good news, and I need to keep on with the routine. News like yesterday’s is my motivation.
So there is the update. I’ve had so much support from everyone visiting Bumpyboobs and beyond with the diagnosis, the book, living well . . . so when there is good news like this, we need to celebrate. Never mind what comes next.
🙂
Happy faces for everyone. Even if mine is still a bit tentative!
By the by, one of my friends is a doctor at the hospital where I had my results. While waiting for Dr Canada to arrive (after the nurse ushered us into a small treatment room), my friend knocked on the door and came in to chat. This was a very good thing. Everyone should have surprise visits from their friends while waiting for potentially life-altering news. It takes the edge off. So a very big THANK YOU for doing that. And I loved your outfit too, by the way. Polka dots are awesome.
P.S. I might be going to something called Sex-a-palooza via some free tickets. So, there could be a post in that!
P.P.S. This song is sooo good! You are invited to dance in your chair while listening to it.
Bumpyboobs ~CatherineBrunelleWrites 
Great news, Catherine. I had my first mammogram test invite today – quickest ‘yes’ ever – thank you for what you do here, so inspired. Dancing in my chair also… 🙂
Bravo! What wonderful news and so glad you are sharing it! I was thrilled to open my email and read this. Made my day. and yes loose yourself to dance! Very good for the immune system! One of my favorite songs. I shall dance with you in celebration today. Hugs and lots of dancey good vibes! xo
Good god!!!! That’s so great!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is wonderful news … I think it’s the combination of all the good and fun (writing) things you are doing, the love you are getting, and the inspiration you are providing to others. I loved the video … it took me back to my teenage years with the afros, bellbottoms, platform shoes, polyester shirts and great dancing music. Sex-a-palooza sounds like a great night out.
Hooray for good news! So happy for you!
Wonderful news Catherine! Thanks for letting us all in on the Happy Dance!
That is awesome news . I’m full of smiles xx
Love this song x
Shrunk! Awesomeness.
Fantastic news!!!
dear Catherine,
what incredible, fabulous news! you are wise beyond your years, and have a keen sense of what is good for you, what makes you happy, and hopeful, and able to enjoy your life to the fullest. those abilities and desires along with your proclivity to resolve to live in the here and now, and revel in every bit of good news will see you through. doesn’t mean you won’t experience your share of the mean uglies – but girl, you have SPUNK, you have Zsolt, you have your family, you are always reaching higher and digging deeper to not just help yourself, but to share and help others. keep writing and we will be right here alongside you for every step of the way, for anything you need. now I’m gonna listen to the music!
much love and light, always
Karen xoxo
Love that word…shrunk!
It’s such sweet relief to get good news. I know all too well that the good feeling may last only as long as the time to the next scan – but you could get good news again and again. And there’s no reason to believe that you won’t. It’s such a struggle to hold on to the joy while waiting for the other shoe to drop (I have a friend who calls it “living under the shoe”) but you have so much in your life that is worth celebrating. And hopefully much, much more well into the future.
So very rue, Laurie. Thank you for that.
I so so so get the living “scan to scan” thing. The life of a person with Rare Disease.
LOSE YOURSELF TO DANCE!!! xoxo Steph
I have a BIG smile over here in Morocco reading your good news. I have you in my thoughts always. Keep doing what brings you joy and we’re all here to cheer you on or lend an ear through the highs and lows of life. Hugs from the other side of the world! T xo
Count me in as another smiler! Good news is just so, GOOD! I am happy for you.
What wonderful news, Catherine! We must celebrate every good scan. From one metastatic person to another,I am THRILLED for you! XOX
Yay for shrinkage! (That doesn’t sound quite right…)
I am just catching up on your posts and am so, so thrilled to hear this news. I have also wondered if one can ever become immune to the emotional upheaval of scans every three months and never-endng treatment. I’ll let you know if I ever meet anyone who’s gotten used to this Stage 4 way of life.
Big, happy hugs to you! I hope you continue to have reasons to celebrate for a long time to come!
Hooray for the good news! But just reading this really helps me understand the trepidation and fear that my girlfriend (who also needs to continually do these xrays) feels about life in generally now. The cancer changed her life so dramatically. And now that the major treatment is complete, I think people expect her to be “back to the same” as before, but how can she? Thanks for sharing this, Catherine. And I am SOOOO happy that your scans are clear and positive!