Limbo Land

I have that limbo song in my head just thinking about this post. Every limbo boy and girl, all around the limbo world, gonna do the limbo rock all around the limbo clock! You can thank Chubby Checkers for those awesome lyrics.

We have moved out of our Vanier apartment. Good bye massive kitchen, good bye clouds of smoke and screaming neighbours. Good bye Snack Shack, good bye walking to Bridgehead, Good bye lovely neighbourhood! While I will miss the neighbourhood – we really came to love it (with spring here, folks are beginning to venture outside again. It’s gossip on the street all spring & summer long!).

Dagmar Goodbye

We are out.

I did like it there to be honest. It was our home, and it was HUGE.

Anyhow, limbo land. I called DR Canada about whether I’m able to get onto this big important study, and have not heard back. Not really surprised. We have an appointment with him on April 20th to find out more. So, I’m okay not hearing back. I keep waiting to buy that ticket to Hungary, but may as well embrace the stillness for the brief moment that it lasts.

The move this past Sunday went very well. There were some moments of panic. Firstly, we couldn’t get the queen box spring mattress into the truck bed. So, my little brother strapped it on top of the truck and we drove at 20 km/hour to my friend’s house in the neighbourhood where we are storing our furniture for the summer. But then, the darn tootin’ box spring wouldn’t fit into their basement! My little bro gave me a jolt of panic when he said: Do you have any backup storage? Can you arrange that right now?

To which I replied: Augh!

That was pretty much his prediction over and over throughout the entire day: You will need more storage.

Actually, we did need more storage. But thankfully my friend’s lovely neighbour popped up outta nowhere (okay, from next door) and offered to house our mattresses IN HER BASEMENT! This is what I mean about Vanier having some truly lovely people. We don’t even know this lady, and she lent us space in her home. I guess the world in general is full of lovely people.

With my Dad’s truck not getting the job done fast enough, (and my entire family present, slowly losing their patience with job of moving boxes one vehicle at a time) little bro had another idea: he’d rent us a MOVING vehicle/truck! While we all thought he was away picking up some tools, he was actually out renting a moving truck. Smart guy. Once he arrived the boxes were loaded in, and off they went. It was a good idea, I’ll admit it. I’m also quite glad I didn’t  need to arrange it.

Days prior to the big move, we were dealing with the big PACK. Honestly it was driving Zsolt and I crazy sorting through so many things, packing boxes, sorting closets, cleaning spaces, sorting charity . . . packing just takes forever and it turns everything upside down. We were losing our minds in the mess, and our apartment turned into a strange maze where you navigated between stacks of cardboard boxes.

Now we are in my parents basement again, soaking up the calm spring rays of sunshine, and clean smoke-free air. I feel as if we’ve come full circle from the time we first arrive in Canada. Except, you know, it’s not at all the same, and we won’t be here for long. I’m still itching to buy that ticket to Hungary. I suppose I’ll just have to wait till April 20th to learn what type of schedule will be happening. Fingers crossed for the study. I like that option & I want that option.

And that is all. Excuse me while I go listen, again, to that limbo land song.

Finally some good news

Every few months I get an x-ray of my lungs. This is done to check on the spots. You see, last summer when the spots were discovered by the CT, I’d also had an x-ray which didn’t show any cancer. The spots were too small to appear on that less precise form of x-ray imagining.

Therefore, I’ve had an x-ray since then with the idea being, if no spots show up than the cancer is stable. Truth be told, I am having a hard time handling these little hurdles in the metastatic way of life, and so I didn’t blog about their coming or their going. There was nothing to say, I was stable – i.e. nothing showed up.

Last week I went for a CT scan. My oncologist, Dr. Canada , has had hopes of adding me to the latest promising phase three study, where I may have (it is randomized) been given that drug in testing Palbociclib, which seems very promising for ‘extending life’ – which is very good and yet not good enough, if you ask me. If there was any change in the scan, I would be eligible.

I didn’t write about this scan last week. I couldn’t. It felt like my world was about to crash. Mixed between normality were cracks of panic. And what is very hard in all of this, is that these scans and checks are now a way of life. One scan or x-ray will always be followed be another in a few/several months. Metastatic breast cancer, unlike stage three and below, has no end of treatment. It’s living scan to scan, and I wonder if anyone can become hardened against this.

But I don’t really want to talk about that today. So I will stop there. Today I’d rather look at the encouraging things.

I had my results yesterday. They were good. We went out in the evening to celebrate with my parents, because even if I do need to go through this every few months – good news is GOOD. It means something is being done right. The cancer tumors were not just stable, but had somewhat shrunk across the board. Shrinking is a good thing.

Lord, I’m doing so much right now. There’s the vitamin C, the Zoladex, the supplements, the emotional work. So it is hard to say what is working. Maybe it’s my body’s immune system? Maybe it was publishing my novel? Maybe it is just everything all combined? All I know is this is good news, and I need to keep on with the routine. News like yesterday’s is my motivation.

So there is the update. I’ve had so much support from everyone visiting Bumpyboobs and beyond with the diagnosis, the book, living well . . . so when there is good news like this, we need to celebrate. Never mind what comes next.


Happy faces for everyone. Even if mine is still a bit tentative!

By the by, one of my friends is a doctor at the hospital where I had my results. While waiting for Dr Canada to arrive (after the nurse ushered us into a small treatment room), my friend knocked on the door and came in to chat. This was a very good thing. Everyone should have surprise visits from their friends while waiting for potentially life-altering news. It takes the edge off. So a very big THANK YOU for doing that. And I loved your outfit too, by the way. Polka dots are awesome.

P.S. I might be going to something called Sex-a-palooza via some free tickets. So, there could be a post in that!

P.P.S. This song is sooo good! You are invited to dance in your chair while listening to it.