Category Archives: Bumpboobs

Library Zen

Posted in Bumpboobs, Chemotherapy, Life, Treatment by

Today I’m going back to work!

After a summer away my memory will be challenged with the library computer and ESL students asking directions. Where is room 2033? I have no idea.

It’s exciting, but also much like the first day of school. How will my body cope with this new type of exertion? Will I be able to sit up for 4-5 hours at a time?

Questions, questions. I can still remember my first day of grade seven at Holy Trinity Catholic High School. I walked into the school’s atrium completely overwhelmed and followed the signs reading “grade 7 to twister dome.” First of all, what the heck is a twister dome? Can’t they just say gymnasium with wooden floors? But no, twister dome is was. I was so nervous that by the time my teacher had us in the classroom and the role call was given – I could not for the life of me remember how to spell my name.

Teacher: How do you spell your last name?

Catherine: “Ah. B-R-U-N . . .N. . .L . . . L . . . E L?

And then my head expoded from the blood pressure. Mortifying.

This won’t be like that, of course. But I still couldn’t get to sleep last night. Work is an excellent distraction, and they are very supportive. My mom was quite impressed when she met my colleagues – said they were all so friendly. And they are.

Breath in and out . . . slowly, calmly and become one with the library. It should be a nice day.

Immigrating to Canada

Posted in Bumpboobs, Canada, Finding Home by

All right! Today is a step forward in the Sámson family. This very morning we’ve paid for an application for Zsolt as a Canadian resident.

It is exciting, yet slightly bittersweet because leaving England means leaving Europe, which by extension means leaving Hungary. But it’s a change that we’ve decided upon, and frankly I think is necessary.

Home is such a funny topic. Where is home? Is it the place we live in, the people we are with, the memories we hold? I don’t know. Even when I do return to my house in Kanata it’s incomplete without my husband.

I suppose it is in the moments. Sitting under a maple tree, eating mandarins from a paper bag, meeting with friends, taking a walk, being with family, swimming in Balaton. . . anyhow, it’s something I long for and will be the best medicine once found. We’ll go to Canada – Zsolt and I together – and see what can be done.

We’ve been talking this morning about buying a canoe, or a kayak. Ottawa is so wonderful for its access to water, being able to get out there would be a wonderful experience.

Today was a good step forward. A very good step.

Taste buds changing

Posted in Bumpboobs, Chemotherapy, Food, Treatment by

Good Goulash. Oh, how my taste buds are changing.


Yesterday evening, while watching Location, Location, Location with Zsolt and dreaming of our own prospective-possible-future house buying options, I opened a bag of crisps (potatoes chips, but since I’m in England, let’s go with crisps). Tyrrells’ chips are certainly tasty, and their Cider Vinegar and Sea Salt has a sharpness that I love in a good salt and vinegar crisp/chip.

Anyhow, happy and enjoying the show – we dig in. Stacy and Phil are selling a couple on a house that is priced £50,000 over their max budget, and I’m curious whether they can secure a deal. But that’s not the only interesting thing. Once my hunger subsides and I actually start enjoying my snack, I realize I’m not fully enjoying it. There’s no freaking taste! Zsolt is all ‘vinegar lips’ with the sour face, and I can hardly sense the salt. Honestly, it was like eating a plain baked potatoe – hold all dressing.

This isn’t the first time my taste buds took a vacation. Last chemo cycle I had an unfortunate incidence with some scones, which led to a break out of mouth sores, followed by an extremely bland meal of homemade sushi (couldn’t taste the side sauces), however during that last occurrence the taste came back.

Here is the question: will my taste return? Here is another question: will bread ever be delicious again? Right now, without the taste, it’s really quite dull.

But I guess all food is dull without flavour. Fortunately I can still taste goulash. It may be that my diet will be amended to all things Hungarian (peppers, sausage, kolbasz, sour cream and Eros Pista) and no things tasteless.

Anyhow, thank goodness for paprika.

This round of chemo has been different. It may be related to the Zolodex and menopausal symptoms, but oh-my-word it’s been emotional. How do people cope? It’s no fun to be sad; the mental barriers grow exponentially.

Thankfully I have support. Mom and Zsolt have been so good to me – Zsolt dances and encourages me to relax, Mom monitors my routine (which frankly is so easy to neglect when feeling weak, so without her I’d be nowhere near doing/taking everything to help recovery). Also, a nod to my Dad who has been a great help with this car insurance annoyance. Because of their help my mood has lifted over the past two days, and it feels good to feel good.

But this is all from something I realized during my last post. While biking up that mountain I was too embarrassed to ask for help. Yes, yes, there was triumph in biking up – but wow, getting a ride would have been nice.  After writing that blog I asked my mother to check on me more often, because I was slipping. She has been helping since – the support has been such a boost.

From taste buds to energy to emotions to treatment – this ride is long from over. For the time being, ‘help’ is the most important word in my vocabulary.  Thank goodness for the people who surround me. Gold stars for them all. 😉