Buffalo Cheese and CT Scan Results

Yesterday I was craving fresh (in water) buffalo mozzarella balls. So, I get Zsolt to drive me to the grocery store – where they have big buffalo mozzarella balls in water. I also picked up some chips. We get to the cash and neither Zsolt or I have our wallets! Not a penny on us! BAH!

I threw a little hissy fit of frustration, and then we hop back into the car and go back to the house – pick up the wallets – and head to a closer grocery shop (Sobeys).

So we go to Sobeys, except they don’t have buffalo mozzarella balls. They have cow milk, but that is not what I was craving. I love that sweet flavour with the buffalo. However, the chips here were on sale, so I pick them up and saved us a few bucks.

THEN we decide to go to Farmboy. Into the car we hop and cruise down the strip to the shop. In the shop I go. OH, one last package of fresh buffalo mozzarella cheese balls. We grab ‘em and check out.

I get home, ready to dive in, when I see the seal isn’t sealed. The damn package was already opened! Not cool. (And I’m really starting to lose it – getting really pissed off.)

Back into the car, and back out – this time to a different Farmboy, since the last one only had one product left, which I bought and now wanted to exchange. So we go to the different Farmboy, and I grab their last package of buffalo mozzarella balls (checking the seal), and exchange the cheese.

FINALLY we get home, I take out some balls, and collapse in front of my computer to watch a show. Sweet, cheesy, salty bliss.

“What can I learn from this?” I asked myself

If at first you don’t succeed, try-try again.

I think the same can be applied to cancer. No matter how frustrating, it is worth pushing for what you want. In my case, to try, try again.

And I can say this so easily, because today I received good news. Today I have NOT been crushed at the doctor’s office. The CT shows good results, considering I’ve only received 2 doses of a new chemo treatment. Good results considering the last treatment didn’t have great impact.

I’m very happy, with a tinge of bittersweet – I can go back to work, but will still get this chemo every three weeks. Upside is that it is easier to recover from compared to the previous approach, even if it is tiring (so I can live my life a bit more as I also destroy cancer).

The MEGA upside is that it may be having a GOOD effect on KILLING the cancer. That blows any bittersweet feelings out of the water. Die cancer, die! MUHAHAAHAHA!

I said to Dr. Canada, “I didn’t expected good results. I was feeling defensively pessimistic.”

He nodded his head. “I think that’s a reasonable approach. But I’m going to be optimistic for you.”

So I said “Okay, you stay optimistic for me.” And I very much appreciate it, indeed.

Today has brought a couple pieces of happy news – from a surprise with my novel, to a surprise with my results. Steady onward, and we’ll see what happens next.

Considering I thought this would be a most horrible week, it has turned out pretty well.

The end.

P.S. I love this picture made by my friend James. Check it out 🙂

Who doesn't want to be compared to Katherine Janeway?!

Who doesn’t want to be compared to Kathryn Janeway?!

Saying “No” is Boring

So let’s cut back to regular normal life. Because that all still happens, even when I do crack and write my little crisis moments here on the blog. In my normal life, I have come to realize I’m really doing far too much. It’s coming to the point where I need to wrap up obligations and say no to taking-on any more.

Boo! That’s so boring. However, for the time being, I believe it is becoming more and more necessary. I love, love, love collaboration and new ideas and trying new things – but I’m genuinely becoming tired. My husband can attest. There are very good days, but there are just as many days where it’s hard to do anything but strap an ice pack to my head. Of course, we all face this kind of up and down, and I know this situation is not unique. However, I do feel like I should take my opportunities to slow down.

Slowly things are wrapping up. Very slowly.

Towards the end of the summer, I finished the literary blog review that I’d been writing for Apartment 613. Dusted and done. I decided to stop trying to finish up that It’s Cancerous game and just leave it be as it was. Now, as we move into November, I am finishing up the production and promotion of a special radio episode that I’ve been able to produce. It’s really freaking beautiful, and I’m quite proud. Storytelling is a power medium – even, for me, somehow more powerful when you couple good writing with good audio.

Can I share it with you? This is a project I did for the World Wildlife Fund and Hub Ottawa. I think it was done very well. 🙂 There are several things I’ve been proud of lately – my contribution to Foment Magazine and the literary festival episodes, my husband or everything he does, and this project now completed with the help of a small grant.

So give it a listen. Various Ottawa-based writers submitted their writing, and I picked a handful, organized readings and hosted the episode. This stuff is wonderful. No matter what happens, this episode will have been produced. It’s a time capsule of creativity. Just like my Claires.

I do get tired. Oh – so – tired. For days on end, I get home from work and my head is knackered. I push too hard, and don’t stop when my body suggests it might be time. Instead I say, ‘one more thing.’ – and while this really truly cannot go on – at least not at this weird transition phase in my life, I do so love the results of a project well done.

Anyhow, as I slowly ease myself out of saying “yes” so often, I will leave you with this. It’s a wonderful 45 minutes of storytelling. I really freaking love it, and think everyone did wonderfully.

Listen here: